Saturday, September 06, 2008

Two years later, this is the first thing I've written in a long time.


Goodbye.

The train station, the sky burning more and more as the sun sets appropriately behind the mountains. My eyes welling up with tears, I look down and to the left. I play with my fingers anxiously, waiting to hear that final boarding call. To see the train suddenly lurch away. I will stand here in this spot until the train is a speck disappearing into that vast unknown and then I will stand here some more. Eventually I will turn and walk to my car, drive home alone. I will stare at the ceiling fan, circling slowly like vultures and wonder how this place ever felt alive, like home. The corners of the room in shadow, everything of you gone. You, gone.

For now I tell you I have something in my eye as my lip quivers and my voice wavers. I cough out a laugh you won’t share with me and try to think about something. Songs run through my head that used to mean something and now mean something else entirely. I try to convince myself that it was all bad and no good, but I keep coming back to that day when the season was slipping into autumn and you sat next to me on a bench in the park in front of the lake that had the fall’s first leaves floating on it, and you spoke.

Hello.