You, my friends, are in for a treat. Because, once you finish reading this average post, you will be greeted with Adam's new short story, and it's a good one. So if that's not enough of a reward to suffer through this mindless drivel, well... scroll down and read the story now.
In an effort to post here more often, I'm starting a new feature. So here it is, the big unveiling of... uh... The Irreverent Times Music Fest '05. Or something. Here's the deal: Every week, I will record an original song and post it here. So that, by the end of five or six weeks, I'll have a very rough demo compiled. And here's where you come in. I'll be posting lyrics/notes and then a link to the featured song. I just want you to listen to them and enjoy them (if possible). If you like them, tell all your friends. If you don't like them, tell all your friends. Because it's more fun to ridicule people when you're with others than when you're by yourself. And feel free to post comments. If it's making your ears bleed, let me know. Maybe I'll stop. Unless you're masochistic. In which case, thanks!
So this week's song is called Disclaimer. As the title implies, it's my little statement about what you should expect with my songs. The link is here. You can do the Right Click, Save As thing, or whatever else you do, since you probably know more about computers than me. As for my comments on this song: I like it. It's not my best, but that's not what I'm going for with this. Also, of the handful of songs I've had laying around but never recorded, this is my most recent. What that has to do with anything, I don't know. I think if I were ever to make a real recording of this that's error-free, I'd put hand claps in here, since I feel like hand claps are a cool addition to any song, and it'd fit this one well. This song is also the closest I've come to writing a chorus where the lyrics repeat. It's just a simple, catchy (?) song that's self-deprecating and lots of fun to play. Enjoy!
Disclaimer
I’m not trying to change the world with these songs I wrote in my room. So forgive me if they seem unpolished or my voice sounds out of tune. I’ll just use these same three chords you’ve heard a thousand times before. And this melody? It’s recycled from all those songs you’ve heard before. Man, that sure is pathetic that I don’t even have the time to come up with a decent rhyme. Well, I guess I’m not a poet. But hey, at least I did know it. And, don’t worry, I’ll try not to whine, cause that’s not what I wanted. But sometimes I just can’t help it. You’re too hard to resist and I persist to be the one that you wanted. I hope that this song, like your voice, gets more beautiful with each replay and it grows on you, stemming subliminal messages as you nurture it with age. It’s like how we secretly love those pop songs that we’ve been told to hate (but they were what we wanted). And this is my guilty pleasure, writing these songs in my room that might just change the world for me and you. Cause, this is what I wanted. And I hope you want this too.
Thank you for donating 3 minutes and 56 seconds of your time. I appreciate it.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Sunday, June 19, 2005
I just wrote a story and it's real short and I'm going to post it here. It's kind of experimental, reminds me a little of my old Forever story. Not so much a narrative as a list of details. It may not be in final form, but the structure's there. Anyway, I'm calling it The Heartbeat, though I also like The Silence of the Sunrise as a possible title. I'll probably have a more regular post coming in the week ahead, since my life is ohhhhhh so interesting. But for now, here's this.
The Heartbeat
It’s the smell of dust, the specks floating in rays of light, rising off a couch. The drip drip drip of the water slowly running from the faucet. The millimeters the tap is away from closed. The sound of birds chirping, a tweet, a whirr, something like a horse braying in fast forward. The soft rustling of the trees as a breeze ever so gently rubs leaves together, heard through a window left slightly ajar in a moment of forgetfulness.
The way the heat rises from the floor, the wood melting in the afternoon, like water rippled from a fallen leaf. Drops of sweat forming on a forehead imperceptibly, dropping down the slope of the nose, hanging on for a moment before diving to a small but growing puddle. The faint whisper of breath taken slowly, a fragile hint of sound that may or may not exist. The way the clouds move across the sky, forming shapes, shades that block out the sun.
The way the grass feels on the back of the neck, the hair standing on end, the soft scratching. The way for a moment there are no cares. The soft breeze that cools the wet skin, gently moves the hair. The way when eyes are closed, everything feels so peaceful. It’s the sunburn, the pain, the fun of picking off the dry skin. The concerned family, the knowing smiles, the sly winks.
It’s the way a boy feels when a girl brushes against him. The first time lips touch, the electricity that passes between two bodies when for that one moment the world doesn’t exist. The beating of two hearts perfectly matched, skin on skin. The way it feels so safe in embrace.
It’s the tears that come when something ends. It’s the astonishment that comes when the tears dry up, that inability to sustain emotion. The way the world keeps turning. The beating of a heart that knows its time is running low.
The creaking of an old house still settling after all these years. The fear of lying awake at night not knowing what it is. The noise, the future, the reason for lying awake in the first place. The way the mind can’t be turned off. The song that won’t leave long enough for sheep to be counted. The realization that counting sheep doesn’t help.
It’s cold nights alone with no heat. It’s warm nights together under sheets. It’s standing on top of a mountain, yelling at the top of lungs. It’s whispering sweet nothings in a lover’s ear. It’s dancing alone knowing nobody’s watching. It’s tripping down the stairs in front of a full house.
That orange red color of the sunset contrasted against the light light blue of the fading sky. The crisp smell of the air that signifies the coming of night. Watching storm clouds slowly roll in over the mountains. The lightning jumping from cloud to cloud, from cloud to ground. The pitch black cloud of smoke drifting peacefully into the air. The way that peace always follows strife. Sitting on a porch rocking slowly back and forth, nothing to do but waste the night away.
The blurry vision of waking. The wonder of time and location. Nervous glances around the room. The patterns imagined on the ceiling. The dark spot on the wall. The same surroundings on a new day. The amazement and confusion that life goes by so fast.
The elation of love and the devastation of heartbreak. The way the heart feels when it finds a match. The way everything pales when a child is born. The way people change so much with age.
The regrets of promises broken, people hurt, friends forgotten. The wanting to try it again, to say something different, to not do that one thing wrong. The lying in bed that one night and realizing it’ll be over soon. Remembering everyone ever known. Wishing people didn’t have to change. Wishing people didn’t have to leave. Wishing people didn’t have to die.
The way life seems to move in slow motion for a while, then speeds up beyond recognition. The way years are forgotten. The way seconds are remembered.
The way night falls day after day.
The heartbeat.
The intense pain as the world slowly slips away.
The heartbeat.
The incredible release as the world slowly slips away.
The heartbeat.
The silence of the sunrise in a newly emptied room.
The Heartbeat
It’s the smell of dust, the specks floating in rays of light, rising off a couch. The drip drip drip of the water slowly running from the faucet. The millimeters the tap is away from closed. The sound of birds chirping, a tweet, a whirr, something like a horse braying in fast forward. The soft rustling of the trees as a breeze ever so gently rubs leaves together, heard through a window left slightly ajar in a moment of forgetfulness.
The way the heat rises from the floor, the wood melting in the afternoon, like water rippled from a fallen leaf. Drops of sweat forming on a forehead imperceptibly, dropping down the slope of the nose, hanging on for a moment before diving to a small but growing puddle. The faint whisper of breath taken slowly, a fragile hint of sound that may or may not exist. The way the clouds move across the sky, forming shapes, shades that block out the sun.
The way the grass feels on the back of the neck, the hair standing on end, the soft scratching. The way for a moment there are no cares. The soft breeze that cools the wet skin, gently moves the hair. The way when eyes are closed, everything feels so peaceful. It’s the sunburn, the pain, the fun of picking off the dry skin. The concerned family, the knowing smiles, the sly winks.
It’s the way a boy feels when a girl brushes against him. The first time lips touch, the electricity that passes between two bodies when for that one moment the world doesn’t exist. The beating of two hearts perfectly matched, skin on skin. The way it feels so safe in embrace.
It’s the tears that come when something ends. It’s the astonishment that comes when the tears dry up, that inability to sustain emotion. The way the world keeps turning. The beating of a heart that knows its time is running low.
The creaking of an old house still settling after all these years. The fear of lying awake at night not knowing what it is. The noise, the future, the reason for lying awake in the first place. The way the mind can’t be turned off. The song that won’t leave long enough for sheep to be counted. The realization that counting sheep doesn’t help.
It’s cold nights alone with no heat. It’s warm nights together under sheets. It’s standing on top of a mountain, yelling at the top of lungs. It’s whispering sweet nothings in a lover’s ear. It’s dancing alone knowing nobody’s watching. It’s tripping down the stairs in front of a full house.
That orange red color of the sunset contrasted against the light light blue of the fading sky. The crisp smell of the air that signifies the coming of night. Watching storm clouds slowly roll in over the mountains. The lightning jumping from cloud to cloud, from cloud to ground. The pitch black cloud of smoke drifting peacefully into the air. The way that peace always follows strife. Sitting on a porch rocking slowly back and forth, nothing to do but waste the night away.
The blurry vision of waking. The wonder of time and location. Nervous glances around the room. The patterns imagined on the ceiling. The dark spot on the wall. The same surroundings on a new day. The amazement and confusion that life goes by so fast.
The elation of love and the devastation of heartbreak. The way the heart feels when it finds a match. The way everything pales when a child is born. The way people change so much with age.
The regrets of promises broken, people hurt, friends forgotten. The wanting to try it again, to say something different, to not do that one thing wrong. The lying in bed that one night and realizing it’ll be over soon. Remembering everyone ever known. Wishing people didn’t have to change. Wishing people didn’t have to leave. Wishing people didn’t have to die.
The way life seems to move in slow motion for a while, then speeds up beyond recognition. The way years are forgotten. The way seconds are remembered.
The way night falls day after day.
The heartbeat.
The intense pain as the world slowly slips away.
The heartbeat.
The incredible release as the world slowly slips away.
The heartbeat.
The silence of the sunrise in a newly emptied room.
Sunday, June 05, 2005
God, has it been that long? Yes, Adam, it has. You should update more often. Whatever, God, sometimes I get busy. Don't try lying to me, I know you're just lazy. What are you, Santa Claus? You know what I'm thinking? Don't give me a lump of coal or anything. No, I'm not Santa, I'm God. Oh, right.
That's how my conversation with God went earlier when I expressed my disbelief at how long it's been since I updated this thing. It's been so long, in fact, that I had to make a list of shit to talk about. Thus, I will bold the topics and place them in front of the paragraphs for easy navigation when you want to show all your friends the brilliance of specific paragraphs in this post.
Motorcycle Diaries - The Motorcycle Diaries is one hell of a good movie, assuming you're literate in English or fluent in Spanish. Generally I'm not a big fan of having to read movies, but I do love the open road, and that's what this movie was about. South America looks like a beautiful place with a vibrant culture, and it reminds me of how sheltered I am as a United Statesian (American seems kind of pigheaded, since, you know, there are lots of countries in the Americas). I know next to nothing about anything outside of the US, and I place the blame for this on the US culture, which, since we think we're so dominant in every aspect of everything, doesn't bother to teach us anything about other countries. Looking at Machu Picchu through the eyes of a young Ernesto Guevara brought up deep feelings. You'd have to see the movie to understand, probably, but it really is amazing and saddening that a culture that produced such beautiful structures was wiped out and taken over by a culture that builds cities that are cramped and unattractive. Like the movie says, if the natives had had gunpowder and not the Spanish, the world would be a much different place. I want to travel all around the world at some point in my life to see other cultures in an attempt to understand the human condition better.
New Place - Couch - Deep stuff up there. Man. Anyway, Cam and I are living in the nice new place now, and we've been here for something like... a few weeks, a month, more or less, I don't know how long. But the point is, we still don't have a couch, because it's at Charlie's. He's finally bringing it now, though. A combination of rain and everyone working delayed the process of getting it over here. A living room is not much of a living room without a couch, though, that's for sure. We just moved a couple of our dining room chairs in there for seating, but it's really hard to lay down on dining room chairs. And it's really hard for me to lay on my bed and see the TV in the living room through the wall. So the couch will be great. Speaking of TV, we don't get cable anymore because we came to the conclusion that there's nothing ever on TV anyway. It occurs to me that not having TV is some kind of hipster thing to do, so don't get the wrong idea. We're just cheap and poor.
Record Player - Yesterday, I finally found a record player. We went to two thrift stores with no luck, though they did smell funny and there were strange people wandering around, so it wasn't a total waste. Then I saw some pawn shop and we went in and asked if they had record players, and the guy pointed us to these 200 dollar turntables. No sir. So we wandered around for a while and stumbled on a litlte 20 dollar record player, which is now hooked up to the TV, and I've listened to my Me First 7"s and they're way cool. I like records. Cam was impressed that my Eternal Cowboy CD is one of 250 or so white vinyls in existance. Yay for me.
New Job - Girl - I plant flowers for a living these days, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and it hurts my back. But it's outside, which is nice, and it's a pretty laid back company with few rules, which is nice. So overall, I'm glad it's only three weeks, because I'm not sure my body can take much more than that, but it's not a terrible job. I work with two girls and a crew chief, all of whom are neat. One girl especially has caught my eye, so assuming somehow I get some kind of confidence, maybe I'll ask her out this week. I asked her to a concert last week but she was going out of town. Asking her out a second time is going to take balls, and I am a woman, so we'll see about that.
Videogames - RE4, Megaman, Baseball - I finally beat Resident Evil 4, and it was awesome, and anyone who plays videogames should play through it. Definitely one of the top 5 games I've ever played. Now I'm playing Megaman X Command Mission, which is a pretty average RPG, and i'm not really driven to beat it, but I own it, and this summer one of my missions is to beat all the games I have but haven't beaten. Then there's MVP Baseball 2005, which is an amazing baseball game for those of us who like baseball. It wastes more of my time than anything else recently. The new videogame systems have been announced and shown, and PS3 is going to cost 460 bucks. No sir, I don't like it (name the cartoon and win!).
Haunted - I'm sure Brian plugged Sir Palahniuk's new book in his last entry, but I'll plug it again. Go get it. I'm like 50 pages from the end, trying to read it really slowly so it'll last me a while, but it's so damn good I can't help myself. Guts is the grossest story ever written. The Nightmare Box is amazing.
Experiment - Jesus, I have a lot to write about. Sorry about this. Anyway, at work, since I work outside and near streets sometimes, my new on the job experiment is to say hi to people who walk by. The results: Older men usually stop and have a short conversation with me, all guys at least say "what's up?", and about 70% of girls/women mutter something under their breath and walk faster. One of the girls I work with tells me that this is because at some point women become so jaded and arrogant that they think that every time a guy says hi to them, he's trying to have sex with them. Ladies, is this true? If so, you all suck.
Cooking (spaghetti, hamburgers, tacos - onion powder, salt, pepper, hamburger spice, red robin [stolen] spice)- That's a long heading, but I had to remind myself of what the hell I was talking about with "cooking." So yeah, Cam and I have never really cooked anything (except, of course, for my world famous delicious breakfast burritos). But we've managed to now cook lots of things. For example, we made spaghetti last night, and hamburgers on the grill tonight. The way we spice things, is we take everything we have that's in powder form (see list above in heading) and dump liberal amounts of it in there. It actually turns out making everything pretty tasty. The Red Robin spice has a little story: One time Charlie and I were eating there, and he goes "Wouldn't it be cool to take the spice?" I think I said yeah. But then he actually stole it, and then he gave it to me, and I was like "What am I supposed to do with this?" So it's been sitting in the cupboard for a few months now, and I'm finally starting to use it. And it's delicious. I am a master chef!
The Ol' Website - Mini Rants here - It occurs to me that the ol' website is pretty much out of commission, unfortunately. I think after they deleted our original website, we never regained steam. We had so much good stuff up there, and when it disappeared, it was like a part of our collective history just got blown away. Weak sauce. But this place is cool because we can rant about whatever's on our minds at the time. We don't have the readership we had at the old website because I have no idea how to promote this blog, but whatever. Sometimes strangers wander across the blog and like it, so that's good.
Trista - I noticed that Trista left a comment in here the other day. So I thought I'd say hi. I'll try to email you sometime and see what's going on. Congratulations on not working at Taco Bell anymore. If you're anything like me, there will be some serious, serious celebrations going on that last night when you're off. That was a hell of a night. Mario Party, Trista, is a wicked good drinking game, if you're interested. I can give you the details on how to do it and avoid getting way too messed up, like we did. We learned our lesson, let's just say that much.
Brian's awards - For lack of a better title. Brian got two comments on his last entry, one of which sounded like some kind of award or something, and the other of which was a nice stranger leaving a message. Way to be entertaining, Brian. Now if you could do it more than once every two months, we'd be in business.
So, in conclusion, you just wasted a long long time reading that. I bet you feel silly. See you next time.
That's how my conversation with God went earlier when I expressed my disbelief at how long it's been since I updated this thing. It's been so long, in fact, that I had to make a list of shit to talk about. Thus, I will bold the topics and place them in front of the paragraphs for easy navigation when you want to show all your friends the brilliance of specific paragraphs in this post.
Motorcycle Diaries - The Motorcycle Diaries is one hell of a good movie, assuming you're literate in English or fluent in Spanish. Generally I'm not a big fan of having to read movies, but I do love the open road, and that's what this movie was about. South America looks like a beautiful place with a vibrant culture, and it reminds me of how sheltered I am as a United Statesian (American seems kind of pigheaded, since, you know, there are lots of countries in the Americas). I know next to nothing about anything outside of the US, and I place the blame for this on the US culture, which, since we think we're so dominant in every aspect of everything, doesn't bother to teach us anything about other countries. Looking at Machu Picchu through the eyes of a young Ernesto Guevara brought up deep feelings. You'd have to see the movie to understand, probably, but it really is amazing and saddening that a culture that produced such beautiful structures was wiped out and taken over by a culture that builds cities that are cramped and unattractive. Like the movie says, if the natives had had gunpowder and not the Spanish, the world would be a much different place. I want to travel all around the world at some point in my life to see other cultures in an attempt to understand the human condition better.
New Place - Couch - Deep stuff up there. Man. Anyway, Cam and I are living in the nice new place now, and we've been here for something like... a few weeks, a month, more or less, I don't know how long. But the point is, we still don't have a couch, because it's at Charlie's. He's finally bringing it now, though. A combination of rain and everyone working delayed the process of getting it over here. A living room is not much of a living room without a couch, though, that's for sure. We just moved a couple of our dining room chairs in there for seating, but it's really hard to lay down on dining room chairs. And it's really hard for me to lay on my bed and see the TV in the living room through the wall. So the couch will be great. Speaking of TV, we don't get cable anymore because we came to the conclusion that there's nothing ever on TV anyway. It occurs to me that not having TV is some kind of hipster thing to do, so don't get the wrong idea. We're just cheap and poor.
Record Player - Yesterday, I finally found a record player. We went to two thrift stores with no luck, though they did smell funny and there were strange people wandering around, so it wasn't a total waste. Then I saw some pawn shop and we went in and asked if they had record players, and the guy pointed us to these 200 dollar turntables. No sir. So we wandered around for a while and stumbled on a litlte 20 dollar record player, which is now hooked up to the TV, and I've listened to my Me First 7"s and they're way cool. I like records. Cam was impressed that my Eternal Cowboy CD is one of 250 or so white vinyls in existance. Yay for me.
New Job - Girl - I plant flowers for a living these days, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and it hurts my back. But it's outside, which is nice, and it's a pretty laid back company with few rules, which is nice. So overall, I'm glad it's only three weeks, because I'm not sure my body can take much more than that, but it's not a terrible job. I work with two girls and a crew chief, all of whom are neat. One girl especially has caught my eye, so assuming somehow I get some kind of confidence, maybe I'll ask her out this week. I asked her to a concert last week but she was going out of town. Asking her out a second time is going to take balls, and I am a woman, so we'll see about that.
Videogames - RE4, Megaman, Baseball - I finally beat Resident Evil 4, and it was awesome, and anyone who plays videogames should play through it. Definitely one of the top 5 games I've ever played. Now I'm playing Megaman X Command Mission, which is a pretty average RPG, and i'm not really driven to beat it, but I own it, and this summer one of my missions is to beat all the games I have but haven't beaten. Then there's MVP Baseball 2005, which is an amazing baseball game for those of us who like baseball. It wastes more of my time than anything else recently. The new videogame systems have been announced and shown, and PS3 is going to cost 460 bucks. No sir, I don't like it (name the cartoon and win!).
Haunted - I'm sure Brian plugged Sir Palahniuk's new book in his last entry, but I'll plug it again. Go get it. I'm like 50 pages from the end, trying to read it really slowly so it'll last me a while, but it's so damn good I can't help myself. Guts is the grossest story ever written. The Nightmare Box is amazing.
Experiment - Jesus, I have a lot to write about. Sorry about this. Anyway, at work, since I work outside and near streets sometimes, my new on the job experiment is to say hi to people who walk by. The results: Older men usually stop and have a short conversation with me, all guys at least say "what's up?", and about 70% of girls/women mutter something under their breath and walk faster. One of the girls I work with tells me that this is because at some point women become so jaded and arrogant that they think that every time a guy says hi to them, he's trying to have sex with them. Ladies, is this true? If so, you all suck.
Cooking (spaghetti, hamburgers, tacos - onion powder, salt, pepper, hamburger spice, red robin [stolen] spice)- That's a long heading, but I had to remind myself of what the hell I was talking about with "cooking." So yeah, Cam and I have never really cooked anything (except, of course, for my world famous delicious breakfast burritos). But we've managed to now cook lots of things. For example, we made spaghetti last night, and hamburgers on the grill tonight. The way we spice things, is we take everything we have that's in powder form (see list above in heading) and dump liberal amounts of it in there. It actually turns out making everything pretty tasty. The Red Robin spice has a little story: One time Charlie and I were eating there, and he goes "Wouldn't it be cool to take the spice?" I think I said yeah. But then he actually stole it, and then he gave it to me, and I was like "What am I supposed to do with this?" So it's been sitting in the cupboard for a few months now, and I'm finally starting to use it. And it's delicious. I am a master chef!
The Ol' Website - Mini Rants here - It occurs to me that the ol' website is pretty much out of commission, unfortunately. I think after they deleted our original website, we never regained steam. We had so much good stuff up there, and when it disappeared, it was like a part of our collective history just got blown away. Weak sauce. But this place is cool because we can rant about whatever's on our minds at the time. We don't have the readership we had at the old website because I have no idea how to promote this blog, but whatever. Sometimes strangers wander across the blog and like it, so that's good.
Trista - I noticed that Trista left a comment in here the other day. So I thought I'd say hi. I'll try to email you sometime and see what's going on. Congratulations on not working at Taco Bell anymore. If you're anything like me, there will be some serious, serious celebrations going on that last night when you're off. That was a hell of a night. Mario Party, Trista, is a wicked good drinking game, if you're interested. I can give you the details on how to do it and avoid getting way too messed up, like we did. We learned our lesson, let's just say that much.
Brian's awards - For lack of a better title. Brian got two comments on his last entry, one of which sounded like some kind of award or something, and the other of which was a nice stranger leaving a message. Way to be entertaining, Brian. Now if you could do it more than once every two months, we'd be in business.
So, in conclusion, you just wasted a long long time reading that. I bet you feel silly. See you next time.
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