Bristol Palin's at it again. She's encouraging teens to not have sex until they're married. Look, forget about how obviously retarded and ineffective abstinence is. Think of all the things your parents told you not to do. How many of those things did you not do? I mean sure, I never tried cocaine or heroin, but in general, parents telling kids not to do something is as effective as the rhythm method of birth control. Which is to say, not effective.

What I'm sick of, and I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before, is people who get caught doing something bad then going and telling other people not to do that. Bristol Palin only wants kids to not have sex because she got caught having sex by getting pregnant. This is like Tiger Woods telling people not to cheat on their wives, or Mel Gibson telling people that drinking is dangerous, or Jesse James telling people it wouldn't be a good idea to be a tattoo-model banging, sex addicted neo-Nazi.

If Bristol Palin had a brain in her head instead of in her vagina, she would have been on birth control or using condoms or an IUD or any of the other hundred incredibly easy ways to not get pregnant. Then she could have been fucking her 17 year old brains out with her boyfriend and enjoying every wonderful second of it with absolutely no consequences. If that had happened, she would not have all of a sudden come to the realization that teenagers shouldn't have sex. Just like if Gibson, Woods, or James hadn't gotten caught doing their horrible things, they wouldn't have gone to rehab. Sure, Tiger Woods has a mistress in every state, but he's not addicted to sex until someone catches him. Same with all these other famous people.

Bottom line: Sex is fun. Everyone should do it. As much as possible. Safely. It's not that hard. That's what she said. Nobody should listen to anything Bristol Palin says because she's an idiot and her baby is named Trigg. If she has more kids in the future, she should name them Calc and Algebra.

Also, Sarah Palin is super lame. She used that failed vice presidential bid to become a celebrity. Wait a minute... doesn't she have like 8 kids? Does anyone else see a Sarah Palin and whatever her weird secessionist husband's name is Plus 8 coming out any time soon? Maybe a Dancing With the Stars turn next season? I personally can't wait until a few years down the road when she's on Celebrity Rehab trying to recover from her gay hooker meth addiction.