Here's a post that, if I still updated it, I would've put on my That's Fucked Up blog. I'm gong to tell the story backwards, just since it's so weird. Here goes: A guy died falling off a cliff. He died falling off a cliff because he got tased by police officers. He got tased by police officers because he had been "[keeping the police officers] at bay for eight hours." He had been "[keeping the police officers] at bay for eight hours" because he had attacked three of his coworkers. He attacked three of his coworkers with a samurai sword. He had a samurai sword because it was a prop on the set of the movie he was working on. The movie he was working on was a porno.

Yeah. Porn star uses samurai sword to attack three coworkers, flees, stands off with the police, gets tased, and dies. The story, which doesn't offer many other details, is here. And since it's CNN, you can expect all sorts of lucid, well-argued statements in the comments section.

First up, a slew of stupid/crude puns, such as:

Hugh G. Rekshun: This probably wasn't the kind of money shot this poor chap was expecting!!

Those are, for the most part, tasteless and unfunny. Just people mocking somoene's death. Next up, people who apparently have a vendetta against our justice system:

SmarterThanYOU: Another million and a half saved by keeping him out of prison... hey FINALLY learning how to save the states money... Samurai Sword $100. Tazer and batteries $400. Seeing the schmuck fall off the cliff while being electrocuted PRICELESS

Jeff: This should happen more often. No courts, No Jail, NO $$$$$$. California just SAVED over $1,000,000 or more. Give that officer a bonus.

This kind of scare me. They're apparently so fiscally conservative that they're willing to cut spending on things like, you know, trials. Whatever. Next up are cop haters:

Matt: Cops really are complete morons. It's like watching the circus every time I see a video of the bumbling idiots. Cops in the United States are completely out of control, militarized, roided up, and psychotic. Honestly, I think the answer is to get some new, non-military minds involved in policing and make being a police officer an elite accomplishment. If we're going to have people making life and death decisions they should be paid well, educated, and not from a military background.

Matt [responding to someone who tries to rationalize with Matt]: Oh please save me the over dramatic BS. Seriously. I don't think our forefathers envisioned jack booted gestapo thugs kicking down the doors of people for small amounts of hemp and executing their family dogs in front of 7 year olds. Save it. I'm not an idiot, you can't spew you're "going home to their kids", or "brave men and women" ridiculous rhetoric at me. You can't pull the wool over my eyes.

kelley: Give someone a badge and a little power and look what they do with it ...

Let the sweeping generalizations begin! But if all cops are pigs, what are all Californians?

vinnie R: Another one of the loose people of California meets an appropriate end. Serves him right!

Patrick: Just desserts.

peter: and hore mongers and fornicators will God judge...the bible

Oh, right. Godless, amoral heathens.

Look. I like cops. I have a friend who's one. Maybe that's why I show them a bit more empathy. They're not perfect -- far from it, in some cases. But you can't go around hating all police. That's ridiculous. They also do good work, too. Again, maybe because I happen to live in New York and they've had some good PR recently. Some of them may bust kids for doing pot, which is dumb, but they're also doing meaningful work, too.

And can we please leave religion out of this, for once? Jesus. I didn't plan on tackling the issue of pornography when I started this off, but hell, here goes: Porn is a part of our society. It's lucrative. People like it. Therefore, it's not going anywhere. If you don't like it, that's cool. Porn can definitely be degrading to women. But not all porn is evil. There's stuff I don't like, sure, but I know to avoid it. So why does everyone else who doesn't like porn have such a problem doing the same? (Boom! Blatant generalization while dismissing people who make blatant generalizations? Well done, Brian!)

This is long and rambly and I don't know if I ever made a point. But here's what I'll leave you with: Some voices of reason from the comments section of the article.

Its Da Poleece: It's only a short story right now while the details haven't been released. Once we find out what the coworkers were discussing before he snapped, find out if he had been having problems with his coworkers, or in other aspects of his life, we'll find out more. And why the hell is the word "karma" being thrown around, like we know what prompted this assault? Thank God you people are NOT the judicial system throwing around the word 'guilty' and 'karma' and 'poetic justice'.

Kevin: Once again CNN opens up a story for commentary that there is no discernable reason for it. Only to further evidence the idiocy of the general population which winds up being fun for all I guess . CNN show a little class(tall order I know) and exercise a little discretion in what stories warrant public comment.

Then, of course, three responses to Kevin:

Ryan: who the hell are you or anyone else to decide which stories can be commented on? are you communist or something?

kelley: Yes your highness!!!!

Matt: Cop, I can smell you from here.