Hot damn, it's time for another fun Bush Administration Terrorist Threat! It's been too long, folks. I was wondering what to do with myself, not being especially on the lookout for Middle Easterners to shoot with my legally obtained and owned firearm. Self defense, motherfucker! Those towel head bastards threaten our country, our freedom, our family values, I should be allowed to shoot them. God bless the Red White and Blue, right? Anyway, yeah, as scheduled the current administration has decided to let us know about another terror threat. This time they're targeting the elections in November. So until then, everyone, keep an eye out. Freedom! Has anyone noticed how any time there's a group of more than 10 people meeting somewhere, the Bush administration gets these anonymous terrorist tips? They always go "There's a possibility of a potential threat sometime, somewhere and somehow. We don't know where it'll be... could be in a big city, could be in a small town. Could be planes, could be crop dusted chemicals, could be a guy opening fire in a crowded area. Could be an inside job. And it could happen any time. And it might not happen at all." How in the hell is that newsworthy? Every time a holiday or political convetion has come around since 9/11 a few years ago, there's been a terrorist threat. Hell, sometimes it's so serious that our nice handy color coded theat meter goes up. Ooooooooooooo... spooky. Because when it goes from yellow to orange, you know shit's going down. Except... shit has never gone down. Not once. But what has gone down is Bush's approval rating. And what's a good way to get it up again? The political Viagra known as terrorism. The terrorists crashing planes into the Trade Center has been such a blessing for the Bush administration that I wouldn't be surprised if they had a hand in orchestrating it. Just think. If they hadn't done that, we couldn't have taken out Afghanistan, and we sure wouldn't be in Iraq right now. Our boys and girls (but not any children of the people in Washington) wouldn't be over in the Middle East dying every day. Bush would still be considered a moron, incapable of handling a nation. But since the "attacks" (assuming it wasn't an inside job by Bush and Cheney) Bush has been portrayed as a war hero by the media, basically, even though he didn't even really serve in the military. And now it's giving the Republicans strategies in their ad campaigns against Kerry and Edwards. How will they handle the Mid East situation? The War on Terror? Well, if Bush hadn't sent our troops in unnecessarily because of this handy attack on America, they wouldn't be able to ask those questions. There would be no Mid East situation. There wouldn't be a war on terror if Bush wasn't in office because most other people would realize that you can't fight a war against an idea. Not only should Bush not be reelected, he should be tried for war crimes and decapitated on Al Jazeera for penance for killing so many of the youth of America. Go see Fahrenheit 9/11. You have to take everything Michael Moore says with a grain of salt, but it does present a fairly convincing argument against Bush.

(I'd like to say here that I do use exaggeration [hyperbole, if you will] to make a point sometimes, so use common sense to figure out what I really meant in the paragraph above and what I was just saying to shock people.)

Sorry I haven't been around much, everyone (nobody cares). I've been in two car accidents, my girlfriend has developed a cyst on her kidney, I've been going to my grandparents' house a few days a week... yeah. Mostly it's been the kidney cyst that's kept me away and I apologize. Leslie's unable to sit up for extended periods of time so I can't talk to her on here anymore. So that means I have to talk to her on the phone. And I'm unable to multitask. So there you have it. Once this gets all cleared up I will be around more often. We're just hoping she doesn't need surgery to get it out. Because of where it is it would be major surgery and that would be bad news.

I went to the lake (Lake Alatoona) the other day and rode around on jetskis and floated on rafts. Since then I have been in pain. While riding jetskis as fast as possible over the big waves left by the wakes of boats, thereby catching kick ass air seems like a good idea when you're doing it, your body will not thank you for it in the following days. But I do recommend it anyway. What I don't recommend is falling off a boat and hitting your ass on the rudder. Or motor. Or whatever I hit my ass on. I think I might have broken my tail bone a bit. Here it is almost a week later and I was trying to do situps but was unable to do more than 124 (usually do 4 sets of 50) because of the intense pain on my butt bone. I'm not going to the doctor for this because it doesn't hurt most of the time, but it is a pain... in... the... ass... I apologize. Hopefully it's healed and better by the time we go to Florida because rollercoasters are going to hurt if it hasn't healed. Going to the doctor would just get me a donut to sit on and that won't do shit against the roller coasters.

Future events: Leslie comes July 17-20, I will consequently not be available for comment. Brian comes the week of the 25th of July, tentatively. I will consequently probably be filming another stupid movie so me and Brian can laugh at it once and torture our families. Sometime after Brian leaves: Florida trip. I will consequently be riding lots of rides and sweating because my grandparents there don't use air conditioning in the middle of summer. August 14: I come back to Colorado. I will consequently be available for parties, weddings, bar and bat mitzvahs, and especially funerals. Get your concert shoes on for Against All Authority August 25.

Finally, I made a superfundandyamazing english test that you can take if you want. Leave comments with your scores so I can make fun of you.