Thursday, October 29, 2009

Ask and you shall receive: I know all the kids today have been clamoring for an overview of literary theory post-1940. They practically won't shut up about it. Thus, as a public service, I present to you...

Formalism, Structuralism, and Post-Structuralism in Under 1000 Words


Formalism
The names to know: Cleanth Brooks and Robert Penn Warren

I’m not going to talk about Formalism much, mostly because you already know it. If you’ve taken an English class in high school or college, then you know Formalism. Maybe you know it better as New Criticism. Or maybe you know it better as “close reading.” But it’s all the same thing: you’re focused only on the text. Not the author, not the historical context, just the work itself. What does the text mean? What makes it a “good” text or a “bad” text? Look for things like symbolism, ambiguity, irony, repetition, theme. If you’ve written an English paper, you’ve probably used a Formalist approach to literature.

Structuralism
The names to know: Ferdinand de Saussure, Tzvetan Todorov, Roland Barthes

Language. Structuralism is all about language. Ferdinand de Saussure looks at how we have a series of signifiers and signifieds. Signifiers are the words/sounds we use to represent signifieds, the objects/concepts we’re trying to relate. So, the combined letters c-a-t are the socially-agreed-upon signifier for the signified “cat.” Although these signifieds and signifiers are arbitrary (the idea of “cat” could just as easily have been represented by “dog” or “pizza” or “disodama”), they are bound together like two sides of the same coin. Thus, words (and, more importantly, the act of naming) construct our reality. To structuralists, there is no objective reality. We build our own perception of reality through words. Example time: Let’s say we didn’t have the terms “light blue” and “dark blue” to describe colors, we only had “blue.” As a result, if two people were wearing different shades of blue, we wouldn’t perceive them to be different because they would both just be “blue.” The fact that we can differentiate the two colors is solely because we have a different vocabulary for the shades of blue. Crazy, right? But it gets better. To de Saussure, the way we get any sort of meaning out of words/sounds is by differentiating them from what they’re not. When I wrote “cat,” you knew it was “cat” because it wasn’t “car” or “cab” or “can.” Think of it this way: when you have trouble reading someone’s handwriting, it’s because you can’t differentiate the letters. A “c” might look like an “e” or an “a” might look like an “o” or a “t” might look like an “l.” Whatever. In order to figure out what something is, you have to first determine what it is not.

That’s the semiotics side of structuralism. Todorov and Barthes expand the approach to literature. They were interested in looking at a piece of literature (or a series of works) and determining what structural elements it contained. By recognizing these devices, you can form conventions. So, for example: Quantum Leap. (What is this, 1990? Yes.) Every episode opens with Sam leaping into a new character. He tries to figure out the situation, then says “Oh boy.” Al comes in, gives Sam some info. Sam tries to change history. Something gets in his way and it looks like he’ll be stuck in the past. Al and Sam team up and get through the situation. Sam leaps into a new character. He says “Oh boy” and that’s that. Knowing this formula is comforting. If I watch an episode of Quantum Leap, I don’t have to worry about Sam dying or getting stuck in the past or making these people’s lives worse. The same thing applies to detective novels or romantic-comedies or punk music. There’s an order, a system. Everything falls into place. But if something doesn’t quite fit the mold (like, say, Arrested Development, which isn’t a typical episodic sitcom), we can create a new sub-genre (single-camera comedy?) by whittling it down from what it’s not. Know the convention, you know the rules. You know the rules, you can break them.

Post-structuralism/Deconstruction
The names to know: Jacques Derrida, Roland Barthes

Post-modern literature plays on the idea of messing with form, messing with conventions. The author as a character. The text realizing it’s a text. Structuralism was all about having things in order. Post-structuralism says there is no order, there is no system. Derrida argues this by stating that language is infinite. Don’t know the definition of a word? Look it up in the dictionary. But what do you find? More words to describe a word. And you can look up those words, only to find more words. There is no beginning and there is no end. Structuralists have closure (once you fuse the signified and the signifier together, there’s a complete system), but post-structuralists deconstruct that image. They unravel words. They say that concepts like “God” or “fate” or “time” –- some of the big-ticket items that we associate with a beginning or end or something outside of us –- aren’t really anything. They’re just socially-indoctrinated concepts that we’ve been told are “the answer.” But “God” or “fate” is just as susceptible to unraveling as anything else.

As a result, since there is no beginning or end, there is nothing original. Barthes is merely one person to argue that anything you create today has already been created before. (Part of this mindset began with the structuralists –- by inspecting the commonalities among several works, it highlights the lack of originality.) Everything is just a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy with no origin. For instance, we like to distinguish between someone saying “I love you” in a movie and “I love you” in real-life. In the movies, we can assume it’s fake, it’s not real. But even saying “I love you” in real-life isn’t original. In fact, it’s actually kind of cliché. But all words are cliché. There isn’t such a thing as an “original” word. The only reason you can decipher anything that I’ve written so far is because each of the individual signifiers I’ve decided to type out has been around long enough to coalesce into the language we use today. Nothing is original.


Whew. I’m sure I omitted a ton of important information and probably got some things wrong, but that’s it in a nutshell. Or 999 words.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

So Lucero last night was pretty awesome. The first band, John Paul Keith and the One Four Fives were an excellent find, playing a modern version of late 50's rock and roll. Awesome guitar work, a cool solo in every song, and just a great all around feel. I dropped 15 bucks on their CD and their new 7", and it was well worth it to support a band that I don't think anyone outside of Tennessee has ever heard of. Cam and I agreed, if that band was around 50 years ago they'd be huge. Today, it's a niche market, but Cam and I both loved it.

The second act, which was the first band with a different singer, was a guy called Jack Oblivian. He wasn't great. His voice was weird and the songs slogged around for a long time without ever going anywhere. Passable.

Then Lucero slayed. Now, having seen them with the horns, keyboard, and slide guitar (doubling the amount of guys on stage from four every other time I've seen them to EIGHT this time), I can fully embrace the new instruments. Really, the horns were never THAT big a deal, but they were offputting, as was was the keyboard when it showed up on Rebels (I thought it made them sound like a Bruce Springsteen cover band). But having seen them all on stage together, I'm fully behind it, and I realize that it's not just little studio flourishes. The horns and keyboard fit really well into older songs as well, and I actually found myself wishing they'd figured out a way to put horns into ALL their songs. The set list was incredibly solid, and, like Brian's show in New York, they played for over two hours. That's what I'm talking about. Hearing the new songs was great, although I kind of wish they'd left out 6's and 7's, which is maybe the weakest song off the new album, and played My Best Girl or Chain Link Fence. But, as a band puts out more music, some of the old stuff has to get left behind. I do appreciate how they represent EVERY album (sans the Attic Tapes) at their shows. They do a great job of mixing in old and new, so everyone should leave happy. And I was happy to see they had their usual "set list" of songs, which meant they came out and played six songs or so, then took requests, then played some songs they had planned, then took requests, etc. I like the loose feel of the shows, and it's good to see that even though their arrangement has gotten more complicated and they're on a major label now, they're still able to be free. Also, I love how the bass player doesn't give a flying fuck about the smoking ban, and has smoked every single time I've seen them. Smoking is so cool, kids! I was especially pleased to hear The Last Pale Light in the West, off Ben's solo album, and a new song called The Other Side of Lonesome (or something). I was surprised to hear a new song, since they just put out an album, but Ben explained that it was left off the newest album but should surface somewhere at some point. It was a nice little Ben number, and while it was good, I'm not too sorry it was left off Overton.

So that's that. Then it snowed. And snowed. And snowed. There's at least a foot out there right now, and it's supposed to snow straight through until Friday. Which is totally lame. But work was canceled today and tomorrow, so I guess some good has come out of it. I was especially grateful for it today, since I didn't get to bed until after 12:30 last night. Sucks because I still got up at 7 this morning to get ready for work, and THEN got the call to not come in, but it was better than going to work and then finding out I didn't need to have gone.

Magnolia Electric Co came out with a Daytrotter session this past week, as did the Get Up Kids. So all you people who want free good music should go download those. Carly Simon did too, I think, which I thought was weird, but whatever. Daytrotter's an equal opportunity recording studio.

The Great Adam Cooking Adventure has commenced, and I've made a nice pizza with green peppers, olives, pepperoni, and mushrooms on it. It was pretty great. I did screw up the first dough though, because I didn't read the directions and got a little overzealous with my desire to ACTUALLY be making pizza. I smashed that shit down and tried to flatten it out, throw it up in the air, etc. But, with Pillsbury dough you can't do that. You just have to unroll it. By the time I realized that, the damage was done though. So, that was a $2 learning experience. Then I made chicken fajitas, and goddamn I'm amazing. I mixed my own seasoning, made my own guacamole, and sauteed my own veggies and meat, and it was awesome. I've also spiced up my lunch sandwiches with some tomato and spinach, made a nice buffalo chicken salad, and made a good breakfast burrito. So the moral of the story is, I'm currently looking for a good retail space to open my new restaurant, which I will call GACA in honor of the Adventure. If I can't open a Dunkin Donuts, I'll open a fajitas, pizza, breakfast burrito restaurant. The man can't keep me down!

Monday, October 26, 2009

My trend of ostensibly ripping Adam off by only talking about things after he's brought them up continues: Dreams. I don't really remember them. I don't know why, but I never have. That's why it's always exciting when I do recall snippets of my dreams. That happened last night. Again, this is all very fuzzy to me, so don't expect it to make a bunch of sense. But I was back in high school and hanging out with Zooey Deschanel. Yeah, she apparently went to high school with me. Anyway, we were walking around the upstairs hallway of Chantilly High School, right near the top of the stairs on the second floor (where it overlooks the library) and Zooey decided to heckle a group of other kids across the way. She said, "You meddling kids!" and I think she shook her fist and everything. Then I made some sort of Scooby Doo joke (don't remember the specific line) that made her laugh. I made Zooey Deschanel laugh! In my dreams, of course, but hey, where else is it going to happen?

The Lawrence Arms have a new 7" coming out tomorrow. I'd tell you the name of it, but it's pretty gross. Thing is, Amazon already has the mp3s for sale. So I just bought it, right before starting this post. So far: I like it. It's not up to Oh! Calcutta! caliber (I miss the dual vocals), but it's still good stuff. Here I am, 25-and-a-half, sitting by my computer, wearing headphones, and doing that head-bopping thing to punk rock. I wonder how much longer I'm going to like this genre of music. I feel as though the majority of the punk I still listen to is largely based on its nostalgic effect. Which explains why I can't get into any of the newer punk bands. But it's interesting that I can still get into new material by the old bands I used to listen to. (Well, except for maybe NOFX. I gave Coaster one half-listen and that was it.) Anyway, I don't know. Am I going to be that weird approaching-50-year-old who's still listening to punk rock? Is that weird and sad, or kind of noble in its own way?

Think there's someone in the world whose absolute favorite band is UB40? Would you be friends with this person? Why or why not? Discuss.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Fucking pigeons. They sit on my windowsill taunting me all day. I hit the window with drum sticks and they fly to another window. Coo, coo, they say. Recently, they've begun just staring at me like "Yeah, what are you going to do, drum stick man? Come out here and get us?" And of course I can't, and they know it now. I hate goddamn pigeons.

You ever have a dream where you start peeing, and then at that very moment your alarm goes off? That’ll freak you out for a few seconds.

I just got done watching Away We Go, and I absolutely loved it. It was honestly a relief to watch a movie in which the two main characters, a man and a woman in love, don't have some cliche fight half way through, then we wonder if they'll get back together, and of course they do. No, that doesn't happen in Away We Go. These two people are deeply in love, they're absolutely adorable together, and they never fight. They wonder if they're failures because they're approaching their mid 30's and they don't have their lives figured out. They don't get married because the woman doesn't see the point. And all they want to do is find a place where they can raise their baby. It's a "small" movie, but Maya Rudolph and John Krasinski are amazing in it. It's kind of got your traditional indie movie quirks, but they're less pronounced here, and it leaves an honest feeling, funny movie, and it's happy and uplifting throughout. That said, it has a 58/100 on Metacritic. Go figure.

Can we talk about The Mountain Goats? I think we should. The Sunset Tree is one of the best albums ever made, in my opinion. Probably the most heartfelt thing I've ever listened to, and the feeling of redemption and power is really unmatched in anything I've ever heard. The there was Get Lonely, which was boring, no two ways around it. I gave it another listen again recently, and it just doesn't do anything for me. It's too hushed and samey, and never goes anywhere. Then there was Heretic Pride, which was forgettable. So, just when I'm thinking that John Darnielle blew his musical load on The Sunset Tree, along comes The Life of the World to Come to renew my faith. Now, don't get me wrong, this isn't as good as The Sunset Tree. And it's definitely not uplifting. But it's interesting, and the songs feel constructed for the first time in a couple albums. I'm not a big fan of the song titles all being bible verses, but Genesis 3:23 is the catchiest song he's done in three albums, and listening to Matthew 25:21 in the dark alone literally brought a tear to my eye. It's been a long time since a song has made me tear up. The last four songs on here are heartbreaking, in a good way. Did you know there are people in this world who don't really care about music? It's very strange. I think it's probably a medical condition.

I bought vegetables and cooking ingredients. Here goes the Great Adam Cooking Adventure. Yeah, that's the name I came up with after days of trying to think of a catchy title for this thing. Maybe there's a reason I don't write anymore.

:(

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Prepare yourself: I'm about to reveal to you an unadulterated look into the constantly-on-the-go lifestyle of a newly emigrated New Yorker. The time: Friday night. The scene: my kitchen. As I'm eating a bowl of cereal, I decide to look at the ingredients labels on the various foods I have in my cabinet. After looking at the cereals themselves, I move on to the popcorn. The nutrition facts for the popcorn are split down two columns: one for servings of popped popcorn and the other for servings of unpopped popcorn. Hold up. Unless I'm reading this incorrectly, this means there are enough people in the world who open up a bag of popcorn and start diving right into the kernels that it warrants a specific column of nutritional information? Are these people so pressed for time that they can't spare two-and-a-half minutes to, you know, cook the popcorn? Or do they simply have disdain for their teeth and, in an effort to expedite the process of obtaining dentures, desire to shatter their teeth by eating raw kernels? But, really, the biggest question of them all is: who the fuck thinks all this on a Friday night?

Okay, so the answer is because I've been on the verge of getting sick this past week and I'm still in a state of recovery. Monday night and Tuesday hit me the hardest, but there's been a gradual improvement of health.

The Mighty Boosh. Maybe you've heard of it, maybe you haven't. Ben brought this show to my attention. And, as he described it to me, "it's very British." It's kind of a mix of Aqua Teen and Tim and Eric and Monty Python. Absurd, awkward, weird. But also very funny. I've only seen a handful of episodes, but it's been pleasant enough for me to feel the need to share it with our abundance of fans (two-to-five people).

I'll agree with Adam about the Abbey Road medley thing. Pretty fantastic. Those 17 minutes go by so quickly. "Golden Slumbers / Carry That Weight / The End" is such an amazing conclusion, too. Now THAT'S how you end your career. Damn.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Well, we've always been known for our mountains, our being fit (present company excluded), and our love for the good weed, but thanks to recent news we're finally getting to be known as the new haven for insane people. Yes, thanks to the terrorist arrest a little while back, and the balloon incident, Colorado should change its nickname from whatever its nickname is, to The Altitude Will Drive You Crazy. Literally!

Let it be known that playing through the medley at the end of Abbey Road in Beatles Rock Band is probably the best Rock Band moment of all the Rock Band moments. Thank God they realized that everyone was going to want to do that and didn't make us pick each song individually, only to play the little song snippets individually and be interrupted by cheering and loading every minute and a half.

The tickets have arrived for Lucero on the 27th. I'm super pumped, especially after Brian's description of the setlist. I am kind of shocked that they didn't play What Are You Willing to Lose, because that song would rock live, so we'll see if they play it here.

You know, I've harped on this recently, but if everyone would just stop watching reality shows, we wouldn't have entire families making elaborate hoaxes about little boys trapped in what looks to be a floating popcorn tin. We also wouldn't have to be subjected to John and Kate, and we wouldn't be rewarding the worst, most vile people in the world. Just something to think about. But seriously, what should happen to the Heenes? Should their kids be taken away? Should they be thrown in jail for six years? Should they just be fined $50 each, naughty little adults? Here's what I think should happen. Don't take their kids away. Fine them a nice middle of the road fine through the court, and then make them pay back the thousands and thousands of dollars that they caused rescue people to spend, airline delays, etc. That will probably make them lose their house, which is okay with me, because then they won't have anymore tin foil to make space ships out of, and they can live on the street for a while, because that's what you get for being miserable pieces of shit.

Here's what's going to happen instead. They're going to get the reality show they were trying to get attention for, make a ton of money, and thus the New American Dream will come true. Be as awful a person as you possibly can, and you'll get your own fucking TV show.

That said, why won't Dunkin Donuts let Des and me open a store in Colorado? A little Dunkin Donuts might help everyone here to be less crazy. If they'd just let us open one that's open 24 hours near DU, it would also help me become less poor. Everyone's a winner. Yet, Dunkin Donuts does not think that Colorado deserves donut stores. And they might be right. People here eat donuts for breakfast and that's it. Good luck finding a donut store that's open after 2pm. Fucking bizarre is what it is. You know what would be great at 1am after some serious drinking? A dozen donuts. And you know what would allow that to happen? Us, opening a Dunkin Donuts across the street from Denver University. Come on Dunkin Donuts! Hear my plea! Have mercy! You're telling me New York and Chicago need one on every street corner, but Colorado isn't allowed to have ONE? Imagine the distances people would travel for your famous iced coffee! There'd be caravans from Wyoming and Utah and New Mexico pulling up every day. Think about it, Mr. Dunkin, and Mr. Donuts, as I assume your names must be.

Alright fine. Let it snow, let it snow, let me open a Dunkin Donuts and make enough money to move to the tropics. Amen.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

What's the deal with people from Fort Collins, Colorado? Bunch of weirdos, I tell ya. Why, if I so much as even knew someone from there -- let alone went to school there -- I'd... but you get the joke already, so I don't need to finish it.

Okay, so let me see if I understand this all. The Heene family was on "Wife Swap." The dad claims to be a meteorologist or scientist, but it turns out he only has a high school education. The entire event with the child-trapped-inside-a-balloon was a hoax. The police, in an effort to win over the Heene's trust and thereby unearth the truth, lied to the press (thus, creating their own hoax) by pretending to believe the Heene's story. And, oh yeah, there's a Wikipedia page devoted to the incident and everything. Can a brother get a "What the fuck?"

I know I've probably caused a large percentage of our readership much consternation and inability-to-sleep by not stating which show I ended up going to last night. YOU MAY NOW REST EASY: I went to see Lucero. Why? The answer to that question goes back a long, long, long, long, long, long time ago. I'm talking late Thursday night.

Thursday night was the Gaslight Anthem show at Terminal 5. I had never been to Terminal 5 before and, when I arrived, I almost immediately didn't like it. It's way too big. (I know, I know -- they're a bunch of sell-outs. Why can't they play small, intimate venues?) Seriously, though, the space was kind of unnecessarily large. The Gaslight Anthem still put on a good show, and I enjoyed their set, but waiting around for them to play wasn't much fun. And since The Avett Brothers were also playing at Terminal 5, I decided to see Lucero at a different venue: Webster Hall. Aesthetically, Webster Hall is much nicer. It's smaller, cozier, and isn't as open/gigantic. However, whoever was running sound there last night didn't do a great job. Everything was just ridiculously loud. I had to really concentrate on each of the instruments if I wanted to hear, say, a kick-ass organ solo. Maybe the space has some tough acoustics, but it was definitely one of the worst-sounding shows I've been to in a while. Which is a shame, because Lucero played for close to two hours. Aside from the new album (which they played in its entirety, save for "What Are You Willing To Lose?," [majorly disappointed by that, but whatever] "Sixes and Sevens," and "Halfway Wrong"), they hit a lot of the older classics: "That Much Further West," "Chain Link Fence," "Nights Like These," "Tears Don't Matter Much," "Sweet Little Thing," and "What Else Would You Have Me Be?" So yeah, a very solid set. I didn't realize that Ben Nichols does lead-guitar on some songs. I always assumed it was the larger guy with the bushy beard who played lead. So that was cool. I also didn't realize how scrawny Ben is. This is really an observation of no consequence whatsoever, I just felt like pointing it out on behalf of scrawny people everywhere. Look, you, too, can be successful!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

A while ago (I don't remember when exactly. You expect me to look through 110 [!] entries?), Adam made a post that was a track list for a mix CD. I liked his idea a lot. And I wanted to do something similar, but I wanted a way that everyone could share in the end result. Fast-forward however much time it's been. Over the weekend, I found out about a website called Daytrotter. Every day, they offer three to five songs by a different artist. Very cool. Thus, I present to you...

The Completely DIY Mix CD

All you have to do is go to the website, look up each artist, download the track, and burn them to a disc. Cool, huh?

1. Arizona - Whiskey or Wine: James, Arizona's drummer, is a friend of mine from the days of Georgia. Yeah, crazy, huh? Since his band has a Daytrotter session, I feel obligated to introduce them to you. This song is good. They're good.

2. The Avett Brothers - Paranoia in B-Flat Major: One of my favorite tracks off Emotionalism. I love the energy in this song.

3. Matt Pryor - Lorali: Poor Matt Pryor. I don't think he's ever going to write songs as good as the ones he wrote for The Get Up Kids. This one comes close, though.

4. The Plain White T's - Runaway: Here's a throw-back to high school. I haven't listened to The Plain White T's in years, but this is a fun cover of a fun song.

5. Aimee Mann - Freeway: This song may or may not have been on the Magnolia soundtrack. I never saw the movie, so I don't know. But I like it, regardless.

6. Okkervil River - You Can't Hold the Hand of a Rock and Roll Man: An insanely-long song title, I know. But it's a great tune. Listening to this song takes me back ten or eleven months, since I first got into them near the end of last year.

7. Death Cab for Cutie - The New Year: It's not my favorite Death Cab song, but it's definitely one of my favorites.

8. Minus the Bear - Part 2: I never picked up Planet of Ice, but I like the sound of this song.

9. Bon Iver - Lump Sum: Okay, I admit it: I don't quite get what the deal is with everyone liking Bon Iver. Maybe I just haven't given him a solid listen, but I feel like Sam Beam is much better when it comes to the hushed vocals/quiet acoustic guitar stuff. That said, I'm quite impressed with this song.

10. Barcelona - Time to Mend: There's really not much going on in this song (it's a basic guy-and-his-guitar slow jam), but something about it gets to me. Just wait for the "Oh, oh listen. Hear me." part. I also like the lines "We're caught in this place, we're stalled in this place. But don't let it kill you now. We're not here to stay. We're not here to stay."

11. Sondre Lerche - Say It All: I first saw Sondre Lerche during CMJ four years ago. (I think.) I never kept up with him, but he put on a good live show. This song reminds me why I liked his set so much.

12. The Mountain Goats - Ethiopians: I have no idea how one person (John Darnielle) can write so many songs (like, eight thousand) and make almost all of them good. By the way, he/they have two Daytrotter sessions. "Ethiopians" is from the June 13th, 2007 session.

13. The Elected - Would You Come with Me?: We got this CD at the radio station when it came out several years ago. This was the track I'd play during my radio show. Great tune. Features one or two members of Rilo Kiley.

14. The Submarines - You, Me, and the Bourgeoisie: Yeah, it's from that iPod commercial, but it's damn catchy. A fun song.

15. Ingrid Michaelson - Can't Help Falling in Love with You: I have to thank Karen for introducing me to Ingrid Michaelson. Girls and Boys is a great album. In fact, her entire Daytrotter session is fantastic. But this cover is crazy good. I wish she were singing it to me.

There you go! Now get downloadin' and burnin' and reacquaintin' with your southern roots.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

All right! (I'm not really that enthused/psyched, but I want to keep up this trend of starting posts with exclamations. It provides the reader with a sense of urgency and excitement. [A feeling that immediately dissipates once he or she finishes an extensive parenthetical aside, such as this.]) There!

So, thanks to Adam's input, I was all ready to go see The Avett Brothers Saturday night. But then, the next day, I received the new Lucero album. And, as Adam said, it's "so goddamn good." Knowing that they're probably going to play a majority of the new record really makes this a tough decision. In addition to the songs Adam mentioned, "What Are You Willing to Lose?" is perhaps the catchiest tune on the CD. If that song doesn't end up on the radio -- and it probably won't -- the radio is seriously missing out on a huge hit. I also thoroughly enjoy "Hey Darlin' Do You Gamble?" Maybe I just like song titles with question marks in them. But yeah, wow. I, too, lament the loss of some kick-ass lead guitar, but this is probably my favorite album by them. And, as much as I love the new Avett Brothers record, I think I like the Lucero album better... Damn it, why do they both have to be playing on the same night?

I saw Inglorious Basterds yesterday. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I realized, about two-thirds of the way into the movie, that Tarantino does a fantastic job of creating tension in small, quiet scenes. Meaning, there aren't many epic shots of combat, ala Saving Private Ryan. Instead, it's usually two, three, four people talking. But the situations are so ripe with power (who has it?) and secrets (who knows what?) that it makes for a very tense scene, even though nothing much happens. Also, he raises a The Wire-esque question: What's the difference between the two sides? They both operate in essentially the same manner. What really separates the "good guys" from the "bad guys"? Anyway, if you haven't seen it yet, I'd recommend checking it out.

In two days, I'm finally seeing The Gaslight Anthem live. Can't wait. In the mean time, I'm going to continue debating who to see on Saturday night.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Happy Columbus Day! I got on Facebook today to ask if anyone wanted to go see Joe Rogan at Comedy Works in Denver this weekend, and here’s what I saw as a few of my friends’ statuses:
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"The cruel policy initiated by Columbus and pursued by his successors resulted in complete genocide." Samuel Eliot Morison, from 'Christopher Columbus, Mariner'
Happy Columbus Day!

happy american genocide day everyone!

"They were well-built, with good bodies and handsome features.... They do not bear arms...They would make fine servants.... With fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want." - Columbus
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Yes, it’s so fucking indie and counter-culture to hate on Christopher Columbus. How could he come over here and, in the mindset of every single person in the world during that time period, have thought these people would make good slaves? How could he start a wave of massacres that would result in the entire genocide of a people? Well folks, let’s have a little trip back in history.

Dateline: Any time in history
Location: Any place in history
Events: People went exploring, found a place they’d like to live, killed the people who lived there originally, and lived there

Well, wasn’t that fun? I’m sorry to say it, but that’s how the entire human race has expanded around the globe. I assume that the only reason everyone who’s up in arms about Columbus Day hasn’t moved back to the Old World to live in squalor is because they haven’t saved enough money to get a plane ticket. I guess they’re too busy spending their money on patchouli and hemp products to actually follow through on their empty stances. But man it must get you a lot of respect in the “Look at how fucking ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT we are!” crew that was born out of Conifer High School. I was listening to punk rock and fucking the man (wait…) long before these losers heard a song that wasn’t on the radio. Ah but I digress.

There are plenty of causes out there today that are worth fighting for: Legalizing marijuana, legalizing gay marriage, keeping abortions legal, fixing healthcare, etc. It’s so easy to say “Columbus was a murderer,” but he wasn’t. He was an explorer in the 1600’s. This is what they did. They explored. They conquered new places to expand their country’s reach. Generally conquering places involves violence. It’s like saying Columbus was an idiot because he couldn’t use a computer. Taking your 20th century viewpoints and applying it to things that happened 400 years ago is anachronistic and wrong. It’s like being against slavery at this point. It’s the easiest way to make yourself feel important.

So, people who protest Columbus Day, I challenge you to back up your stances. If you hate him so much, leave this land that he discovered. And yes, he discovered it, despite the fact that people lived here already. Trace your ancestry back to before you came here, go back to that country, live the life there. It might also interest you to look up the history of said country, because I bet you’ll find that at some point your ancestors came to that country, killed who or whatever lived there to begin with, and claimed it as their own. Get off your high horse, stop acting like you give a flying fuck about Native Americans, and please put an end to this bullshit mutual masturbation you all are so fond of doing, bloviating about all kinds of easy issues that you don’t have to do anything to support.

Happy Christopher Columbus Day, to everyone who thanks God or fate or whatever else every day that they get to live here instead of fucking Slovakia.

Sorry Slovakia.

Friday, October 09, 2009

Let's have some fun! I just watched Wednesday's episode of The Colbert Report. Stephen mentioned a website I'd not heard of before: Conservapedia. It's like Wikipedia, but with a conservative slant. If you have anything that can inoculate you against bitterness and stupidity, now would be the time to administer a dosage.
The Daily Show purports to be a satirical program that airs on cable network Comedy Central. It is known for catering to an audience of public school teenagers, more than 60% of whom, a study of one school district found, watch television for over three hours a day. Liberals have recognized the leftist slant of the show by giving it a Peabody Award and nine Emmys.
It's now thirteen Emmys, by the way. Anyway, that one entry contains a slew of fun links.
Public schools in the United States are liberal and atheistic government institutions that employ 3 million people and spend $411.5 billion annually at a cost of $10,770 per student. Spoken prayer, the Ten Commandments, and sharing of faith are expressly forbidden in public schools' classrooms during school hours, and teaching of morality is implicitly disfavored. Homosexual indoctrination is common as early as elementary school in more liberal states.

A liberal (also leftist) is someone who rejects logical and biblical standards, often for self-centered reasons. There are no coherent liberal standards; often a liberal is merely someone who craves attention, and who uses many words to say nothing.

An Emmy Award is an award given ostensibly for excellence in television programming production.

Comedy Central is a left-slanting cable and satellite television channel which draws a large portion of its viewership from adolescents, such as the average public school student (who watches more than three hours of television daily). Comedy Central features adult cartoons, including South Park, and dim-witted liberal programs including The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report with Stephen Colbert.
And, just for the hell of it...
Barack Hussein Obama II aka Barry Soetoro (allegedly born in Honolulu Aug. 4, 1961) is the 44th President of the United States, and previously served as a first-term Democratic Senator from Illinois (2005-2008). Obama and his running mate Senator Joseph Biden won the presidential election after 23 months of campaigning that spent over $700 million, much of it raised from undisclosed or fraudulent donors. Obama spent far more per vote than McCain did: Obama spent $7.39 per vote, while McCain spent only $5.78 per vote. ... The Association of American Physicians and Surgeons observed that Obama used techniques of mind control in his campaign, as in this speech: "a light will shine down from somewhere, it will light upon you, you will experience an epiphany, and you will say to yourself, 'I have to vote for Barack.'"
Ah, fun.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Quick! Or relatively-soonish: Next Saturday, the 17th, presents a conflict that I need help resolving. See, on the 17th, both The Avett Brothers and Lucero are playing in New York, but at different locations. I've never seen The Avett Brothers live, and I'd love to go, but the tickets are $30. Ouch. Lucero I have seen live (though, it was a while ago and only that one time), but their tickets are only $17. So, Adam, which show would you go to? Are The Avett Brothers so amazingly awesome live that it's worth the $30? Or should I go with good ol' Lucero? (I haven't listened to their new album, but I've ordered it.)

Speaking of The Avett Brothers, I think Adam summed up their new album very well. I've listened to it about five or six times already, and I like it more and more with each spin. I'm still a little dismayed that there isn't a straight-up rocker like "Colorshow" or "Will You Return?," but it's definitely a solid album. "Kick Drum Heart" comes close, as does "Slight Figure of Speech," but they don't achieve that same level of catchiness and pure raw emotion that embodies "Colorshow." However, they've always done a good job with the slower songs, and this time around is no exception. "Ill with Want," "The Perfect Space," and "It Goes on and On" (okay, not really a slow song, but still) are my favorite tracks from the album. But it's all good, really, so check it out. Oh, and the lyrics -- "Something has me acting like someone I don't wanna be... /A need for something, let me break it down again. / A need for something, but not more medicine." "I wanna have friends that I can trust, that love me for the man I've become, not the man that I was... / I wanna grow old without the pain, give my body back to the earth and not complain." -- nice.

Other new music: Saxon Shore released their follow up to the superb "The Exquisite Death of Saxon Shore." The new album is called "It Doesn't Matter" and -- bad pun alert -- it does matter, because this album is amazing. I honestly think it's usurped "Exquisite Death" as my favorite album by them -- not an easy feat. They just know how to make catchy, catchy instrumental music that doesn't get boring. And, actually, one of the songs has lyrics, so it's a big departure for them. It's my least favorite track on the album, coincidentally, but it's still good. So yeah, if you want to help a true independent artist, you'll go to their MySpace page and order it. I'd suggest listening to the tracks "Thanks for Being Away" and "Nothing Changes." "This Place" is the one with vocals, so it's not a fair representation of the album.

Christopher O'Riley. This is old, seeing as how I saw him in concert a month and a half ago, but whatever. His new album, "Out of My Hands," is good. It's a bit uneven, but it's still very strong. Anyway, I got him to sign my CD and everything, so I kind of like it more because of that. He's left-handed, by the way. None of this is describing the music, though. This time around, rather than focusing on a single artist (Radiohead, Elliott Smith, or Nick Drake), he does solo-piano covers of a bunch of artists: Tori Amos (great cover of "Mother"), Kurt Cobain ("Heart-Shaped Box"), Elliott Smith ("New Disaster"), Radiohead ("All I Need" and "Videotape"), R.E.M. ("World Leader Pretend"), Pink Floyd ("Us and Them") The Smiths ("Asleep"), and a few more that I can't really remember. Your enjoyment of the covers is pretty much contingent on your enjoyment of the originals -- in this case, I like those songs; thus, I like the covers. As I said, it is uneven -- some songs get lost in the mix -- but it's still an enjoyable record.

Seriously, though, which show should I go to?

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Let's talk about music.

House is an incredible show, I've found out. I've plowed through the first four seasons now and while watching the stellar season finale, Iron and Wine's "Our Endless Numbered Days" played. That song is the best song on the album it lends its title to. I forget sometimes about Iron and Wine. Amazing voice, Sam Beam has. Our Endless Numbered Days is pretty much unquestionably the best material he's put out, because the earlier stuff was too low-fi, and while The Shepherd's Dog was FANTASTIC going to sleep music, it only had a song or two that hearkened back to the days of a man and his guitar. The retrospective Around the Well is a great double disc, the first being material that came out in the early, low-fi days, and the second (better) disc being OEND and TSD material. But what I really want to mention here is that on the (flawless) EP for his (incredible) cover of Such Great Heights, there's a little seven minute ditty called The Trapeze Swinger. It's the single best song Beam has made to date, and the stripped down version on the EP is superior to the over produced number on Around the Well.

Lucero's new album is so goddamned good. It's the most feel-good album of theirs they've ever done. Every song oozes sunshine. Honestly, I'm still on the fence about the band moving from a four piece to a six-or-more piece with the addition of a keyboardist, slide guitar player, and horns. The crushing guitar solos of old are gone, replaced by better all-around songs. The first song, "Smoke," is simply one of the best songs they've ever written, and it goes on from there. "Darken My Door," "Can't Feel A Thing," and "Goodbye Again" are beautiful, and rockers "Sounds of the City," "The Devil and Maggie Chascarillo," and "Halfway Wrong" will have your little alt-country ass shaking. If you have any interest in rock music, this is an essential album.

Finally, The Avett Brothers' new album finally got here today. My little bluegrass rockers have finally released their first major label album, and it's a fucking heartbreakingly beautiful piece of music. But where hast thou gone, banjo? Where hast thou gone, rockers? But hello piano, you fit right in here. Hello full drum set. Those angelic harmonies return with gorgeous production, and the achingly honest lyrics are as good as ever, if not a little darker than I've come to expect. It's funny to see the difference between when a band like this hits the big stage and a punk band goes major label. Punk fans get MAD when one of their babies tries to make money doing what they do for a living. The Avett Brothers' fans all express the same emotion: Thank you for the music you've made that I feel like was just for me. It's sad that I have to share you with everyone else now, but you deserve it. And they do. This album isn't going to hit the radio, but for people who love real, honest music, it's going to be fucking epic.
Hello. It's been a while. I was down in Virginia this past weekend to see my sister's play at VCU. Friday night, I slept in my old house. Although I knew my mom and Fred had started preparing the house to sell, I didn't quite realize just how far along they were. I walked in and the living room didn't have any carpet. The kitchen counters were stripped. The only piece of furniture in the entire house was the bed I slept in. Have you ever stayed in an unfurnished house? It's creepy.

I've started rewatching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. If you've enjoyed this blog's high level of discourse re: the news, you'd probably enjoy this show. Aaron Sorkin knows how to write.

If you want a complete mind-fuck of a read, I would suggest Roland Barthes' S/Z. It is simultaneously the most frustrating piece of literary theory I've ever read and the most intriguing. Maybe it's intriguing because I don't fully understand it. But it's crazy.

Can Toby Keith stop making music? That'd make me happy.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Last Thursday I saw this headline on CNN:
“If a third of people wind up catching swine flu, 15 states could run out of hospital beds around the time the outbreak peaks, a new report warns Thursday.”

Terrifying! The fear I felt caused me to create these horrifying, equally likely headlines:

-If a meteor crashes into earth, hospitals in several countries could be busy, a new report warns Thursday.

-If Jesus Christ comes back and raptures the worthy, there will be several hundred fewer people on Earth, a new report warns Thursday.

-If you are happy and you know it, clap your hands, OR ELSE, a new report warns Thursday.

-If people listen to the ridiculous media coverage of swine flu, people could freak out about a virus that is no worse than the normal flu and write ridiculous reports, a new report warns Thursday.

-If everyone in the world stops having sex for no reason, the human race could die out within a generation, a new report warns Thursday.

Watch out for the swine flu! If we all die, we'll ALL BE DEAD! Good luck sleeping tonight!