Greetings. "So Brian, where's that song of the week thing you promised us?" is probably a question that's eluded most of you. Well, all I can say is that I was at home and did not have the incredibly high tech equipment (a computer program and a simple 2 input break-out box) required to record these ditties. So I apologize if I've lost the trust of everyone ever because I spouted empty promises like that. I'll try harder next time.

Let's get right to the tortu- fun, shall we? I will make this whole sentence a link, just so you don't have to strain too hard to find a link embedded in a tiny four letter word. Again, right clicking and Save As seems to work best, as I tried doing the normal left click thing and it said something dumb like "you can't download this," which is a complete lie since you can download it. Whatever. But I'm not good at tech support, so if you continue to have trouble and you really, really, really want to hear the song (you should probably consider it a good omen that it denies you access), then shoot me an IM and we can do a file transfer thing. The reason I don't do that normally is because it'd just take up too much of my day if I did that for the throngs of people who have shown interest. Or, you know, five minutes. So thanks to all you lovely people who braved the first song! You gave me just enough confidence to shatter your faith in me with this new one! I'm gonna switch things up and give you lyrics first, then commentary.

All These Christmas Carols Sound the Same
I’m st-st-st-st-stuttering on my words. It’s either fear or the cold, I’m not sure. I’m falling in love with eyes closer than they appear. I’m erasing this past year from memory. How hard could it be? And the fallen snow, from a bird’s eye view, presents these city streets in threads of white lacing up the best of you and me (a gift left under an abandoned Christmas tree wilting on New Year’s Eve). Months from now, when these memories melt and flood out onto the streets like the guts of traffic lights reflected on rain stained streets, I’ll have shelved away all those times that felt so right and catalogued your soft breathing on those summer nights. But for now, “Season’s Greetings!” is what I lack. Whoever said this is the most wonderful time of the year needs to take it back.

I have lots to say about this one, which is weird since it's so short. First, the title. I just came up with the title today. I've had this one written for almost a year and never found a good title for it, but I like the one it has now. So if you have suggestions for names, feel free to let me know. I'm trying to stay away from the obvious ones like "Piece of Shit Song #2,"but at least that sets the bar low! Anyway, the title alludes to my original intention with this song, which was to write something about how annoying the same 12 christmas carols are. But that idea got ditched and only shows up in the last two lines. How this song got started: Last summer, I delivered pizzas for Papa John's. It was a cool job. But, even after those countless hours on the road, I never got comfortable looking at the people in the cars around me, so I'd always steal glances in side mirrors or rear view mirrors. Hence the line, "I'm falling in love with eyes closer than they appear." But it also works in the sense that there's this distance between the two people. Cool, huh? So I wrote this song in the summer, even though it has a distinct winter feel to it. I like the "second verse," about the snow. It also has the most "emo" (in a bad way) line I've ever written, about the present under an abandoned Christmas tree. That part I'm okay with, actually, but the "wilting on New Year's Eve" element is just too much. But it was too good of a rhyme to pass up. Also, I want to point out that I'm not making fun of people who stutter. And you might notice I use the word "streets" twice. That's not supposed to be a bad rhyme, that's just me not knowing my own words. This is what happens when you sing without lyrics in front of you. The original line was "Months from now, when these memories melt and ooze out onto the roads like the guts of traffic lights reflected on rain stained streets..." So I replaced "ooze" with "flood" (what I consider a good move) and "roads" with "streets" (what we'll call a bad move). Oh well. And, even though the vocal track could probably be re-recorded to sound a bit better, I'm lazy. As for the guitar, I only use the three high strings, that's why it's a bit softer sounding. It also explains why the palm muting at the end doesn't quite sound as good. But hey, I'm not going for perfection here, just sub-par average. My songs are akin to Communism: they look good on paper, but don't quite execute as well as their potential. Hey, I like that! That needs to be added to the Disclaimer song...

Next week: a good song! For real! Thank you again for your patentience.