Well gee folks, I said I was going to update this like a year or two ago and then I didn't, so Brian did. And so now because I'm a giant egomaniac, I'm updating it again so I can be on top. I like being on top. Yes. Yes I do. I do indeed. I really do. Yessir. Yep. Alright.

Hey guess what time it is! It must be some kind of election time because once again the topic on everyone's lips is how we don't want queers getting married. Because of some shit that no rational person could understand. I really can see both sides of most issues. The death penalty? Yeah, I'm for it, but that's because I really do like the idea of revenge. But I can easily see the argument against it. Abortion? Yeah, I'm for it, but even though I don't agree with the other side, I can at least see where they're coming from. Legal drugs? Yeah, I'm for them, all of them, but I guess I can see how people want them to be illegal. Keep the kids safe and whatnot or something. But gay marriage? Sorry, I'm not even willing to listen to you if you think it should be illegal. Not only am I not willing to listen to you on the topic of gay marriage, I'm not willing to listen to you talk about the weather. You know why? Because you are wrong. And you are stupid and intolerant and don't deserve anything good in life. That's why.

Gay marriage boils down to one of two things. One, you really get turned on by the idea of two cocks rubbing together, but it disgusts you at the same time and kind of makes you afraid, because if it's acceptable, who's to say you won't rub your cock up against some other cock? So to repress your homosexual tendencies, you stand up tall and say "No fags getting married!" And you feel super straight because you said the word "fag" or "queer" with such fucking indignation. After all, once your friends found out you were a fag, wouldn't they kind of stop hanging out with you? Or two, you're so high and mighty that you think people who are different than you are less than human. If we can all agree that marriage is a sacred institution (which I won't agree with you, but you know, for the sake of argument...), good for families and society, why exclude a certain group of people? Because you have decided that you know what God wants, and what he wants is hatred towards certain pockets of his children. He wants a world full of heterosexuals so that... we can become more overpopulated and all starve to death? Or he wants a world full of heterosexuals so we... uh... could... have a 50%+ divorce rate? And... sacred... Wait, marriage was arranged up until fairly recently in history so that families could make more profit. It was kind of like indentured servitude for women. Marriage is a piece of paper that says "Hey, we spent thousands of dollars to prove to people that we love each other for the moment! Though give us five to ten years and we'll show you just how seriously we take this commitment!" And if that's not a SACRED INSTITUTION, I don't know what is.

Another thing that makes me proud to live in America is the fact that there are people out there who think it's totally acceptable and viable to deport millions of people because they don't speak English. When really, these good ol' boys are the ones who need to be deported, if only so that they can experience another culture, possibly realize there are people out there who speak other languages and practice other beliefs and hold other things sacred and don't have confederate flags on their Hummers with horns that play Dixie, who don't murder people because they're different, who are tolerant of differences, perhaps even curious about the rest of the world. That said, I refuse to listen to anyone who tells me that soccer is not the most boring sport on the face of the planet.

As kind of a side note to the marriage thing, it might not be a great idea to let a bunch of hardcore Christian kids plan your bachelor party. Otherwise instead of a lot of booze, boobs, and bowling, you might find yourself going to Waterworld and playing videogames. Not that that's a bad day, it's just that it's kind of not a bachelor party at all. It's just some dudes hanging out.

If there's anyone out there who doesn't own a Nintendo DS, you're missing out on the best damn handheld system ever made. It plays Gameboy games, AND it plays DS games. Like Tetris, and New Super Mario Bros, and Castlevania, and it's just like owning a Super Nintendo again, and the Super Nintendo was the happiest time of my life... Yes, I measure my life in videogame systems.

Looking for music? Consider the following:
Gomez - How We Operate: Their best album. Hands down. Finally an album without a bad song in the bunch.
Margot and the Nuclear So and So's - The Dust of Retreat: Listen to the song "Quiet as a Mouse" and tell me that's not one of the best songs you've heard in a year. Then imagine a full album just as good as that song.
Drag the River - It's Crazy: It's crazy how good this is! (booooooo) But seriously, probably the best alt-country album I've ever heard.

I signed up for Blockbuster Online and it's cool. It's a way to rent really bad and embarassing movies without anyone having to know you're doing it. On that note, if anyone ever asks you to go watch The New World with them, say no, and then never talk to them again, because that movie is unwatchably bad. I watched the whole thing just to make sure. It was 10 minutes longer than the entertaining Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but it was also 5 hours longer than that movie.

There's your update. See you soon.