Wow. I got on here for the first time in a week or two, and I didn't have to log in. It remembered me. Should I be happy or terrified that technology is now reading what I type and evolving to meet my demands?

I fucking LOVED Michael Jackson when I was a kid. LOVED him. I didn't even think there was any other music for years. It's kind of surreal to me that he's dead. I almost thought that maybe he had experienced the perfect blend of plastic surgery and medications that he had accidentally stumbled onto immortality. Apparently not. I heard that on the day after MJ died, his albums were SEVENTY PERCENT(!!!) of ALL the orders on Amazon.com. All of the top 15 albums on the site were his. 15 of the top 15. That's amazing. He was probably one of the strangest men in the world, but man, that voice and those moves, and those songs, and that skin and that glove... The man could have been the single most famous musician of all time. It's strange to be around to see a genuine piece of world history disappear.

How about that Farrah Fawcett, huh? She died too. Sad. I think I'm too young to really appreciate that one but I heard a lot of old men the next day saying some pretty pervy things about her. Kind of weird, considering she had just died. But you know, old men will be boys.

How about that Ed McMahon, huh? Heeeeeeere's Johnny! Hey-o! I just won a hundred million dollars again this year, and all I have to do is order some magazines! I did watch Star Search when I was a kid. Well, let's all have a drink for the three famous people who died here last week, and then move on because...

...there are some crazy shits going on in Iran right now. I guess maybe less crazy right now than a week or two ago, but man, could you feel the electricity in the air from the people rising up against an unjust dictatorship and threatening to take down the establishment? I could. I was riveted, I was so excited to see that people somewhere have the audacity to stand up to evil and say "We've had ENOUGH!" And then evil said "We have the MILITARY!" and the revolution kind of fizzled out. Once the government came out and actually said "If you protest peacefully, we will kill you, your family, and everything you love," the people said "Hey man, it's all good. We were just kidding." Sure, there were a few die-hards (literally, it turned out) that had had ENOUGH (of living, it turned out) of these despots, but your average peaceful protester seems like they decided that a little more freedom isn't worth being dead for. Makes sense, since if you're dead you can't really enjoy your freedom. But man, wouldn't it have been something to see a real revolution, led by the people in the streets, and not a coup by some other military megalomaniac. Maybe next time.

And how about that North Korea, huh? Kim Jong Il's (sp?) son is named Kim Jong Un? (sp?) Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Now he's going to "shoot a missle" at Hawaii, huh? I mean, that's cute that there's a country that allows a mentally ill midget crossdresser to be their leader, and it's cute that he thinks that we're going to be terrified of him shooting a missile at Hawaii on the 4th of July, but really, a stupid retarded little person in a pompadour throwing rocks at the Pacific Ocean is probably only scary to the water within six inches of the beach. And even then, his stupid tiny atrophied muscles and his complete lack of exercise while he sits in his (probably) WAAAAY oversized throne being fed grapes by topless women, will probably lead to him pulling something when he tries to push the button to "shoot the missile." He can't even hit Japan! Don't you think you ought to launch a shuttle into space before you declare you're going to fly to, and establish a colony on, Pluto? (He didn't do that, I'm just saying, if you can't hit Japan with a missile and it's out your back door, you probably can't hit some islands far far away.)

Anything else? I guess not. I'd just like to say, I also have Brian and my home videos from back when we were creative, yet I have no VCR to watch them. Their hilarous/idiotic antics elude me, and due to the bonk on my head/drugs/genetics/brain transplant, I can hardly remember what is on them. I look forward to reading Brian's comments on our masterpieces/embarassments to our families.

So, to Brian's accurate portrayal of our readership, "What up."