I thought that making something illegal completely prevented that something from ever happening. But it is illegal for priests to molest boys, but it seems like it happens quite a bit. Which begs the question: Why are gay pedophiles attracted to the priesthood? Strangely, I haven’t heard this question asked in the lame stream media. Instead, people are asking “Why don’t we let priests get married?” Now, I haven’t done any research to back this up, but why would the ability to get married make gay pedophiles stop molesting children? I mean, gay pedophiles outside of the church are free to marry (as long as they marry women, which I’m pretty sure is what the priest marriage folks are suggesting, not that gay marriage that would undermine the family unit and harm children), but they still molest kids.

Follow me here. You’re a heterosexual man or woman. You want to marry a person of the opposite sex. But alas, opposite sex marriage is illegal. So, do you A)have secret sex with adult people of the opposite sex, or B)molest kids? If you said B, please send me all your contact information so I can turn it into the police.

Second question. Smoking weed is illegal, but you want to try it, or you’ve tried it and like it. You want to get some more. Do you A)get some illegally, or B)molest kids?

I guess my point is, I don’t see the correlation between priests not being allowed to get married and their proclivities towards molesting boys. I think instead of having a debate about whether they should get married, we should have a debate about not letting gay pedophiles be priests. Maybe if the church one day decides that women have more right to be priests than gay pedophiles, we can kind of replace them. I would suggest an entrance exam for priesthood. Maybe “On a scale of 1 to 10, how much would you rather be molesting a little boy right now?” Then maybe replace the men who answer with a 5 or above with a woman who answers a 0. I mean I know women aren’t technically “real” people, but a non-child molester woman would at least be better for the church’s image than a gay pedophile, right?

I also heard that the Pope helped cover this up, but he won’t be going to testify about any of this because he’s a “head of state.” Man, who knew that a gay-pedophile-enabling Nazi youth would one day be the most powerful man in one of the world’s most powerful religions. It’s amazing what terrible people can become if they just put their minds to it. Religion is fun.