I just have three quick things to say. I'll give you that full post on things that are illegal but shouldn't be one day. I'm just waiting until the moment is right, and you're all salivating appropriately.

First, let's all wish a happy belated birthday to my good friend and co-author of this blog, Brian. Brian turned a youthful 53 yesterday but doesn't look a day over 77. One thing you might not know about Brian is that he was born on tax day. It's true! Therefore, he is exempt from paying taxes. Or that's what he says every year at this time, anyway.

Second, I want to give a quick "shout out" (I will honor my previous deal that if I ever used that phrase you could kick me in the nuts. I am a man of my word.) to the guys over at Rock Pedal. Now, if you know me, you know I'm a really unbelievably huge loser, and I play a LOT of fake drums in Rock Band. A while back my plastic generic kick pedal broke because I rock too fucking hard and I wanted to order the Rock Band 2 drum kit. I ordered it, only to be told it was on back order. For like four months. So I broke down and bought the $80 Rock Pedal in the meantime. Three things about this pedal. One, it looks kick ass and it makes me feel like a real drummer, though I'm so incredibly not. Two, though you have to fiddle around with it, you can eventually get it set to your exact preferences on height, resistance, and sensor point so that you can drum exactly the way you want to. This WILL increase your score and make you feel like a big fake loser BADASS. Three, I contacted the guys there because there's a piece on the pedal that I have already ruined through rocking too fucking hard, and without asking for any kind of receipt information or anything, they put a replacement part in the mail to me with a nice letter saying they were sorry for the trouble this piece breaking caused me. That kind of customer service can't be beat, and I just wanted to share that story with everyone out there. If you want to be a better fake drummer and you want to support some really nice folks who make a really quality product, drop the money on that pedal. I promise you will not regret it.

Three, tea parties? Really? Tea parties and pirates. Great, soon we'll all have polio and be heading out west looking for gold in them thar hills. Well, I'm off to get my pick axe.