Meditations on the Beginning and End of it all? Thoughts on life and death? Ruminations on the complexity -- and yet simplicity -- of how best to spend our brief, brief time on this world? Sure, Adam has covered some big subjects, but I think he's missing the single most important issue of them all: pirates. (He's also missing one or two Pauly Shore references. [On second thought, maybe the Pauly Shore reference drove people away.])

Yes, pirates. Have you heard the news lately? A hostage situation with pirates. Here's the thing. This is a serious matter. It could very well be a life-or-death situation. And yet, no matter how hard I try to convince myself of the severity of the situation, I get to the "pirate" part and all of that work is (excuse the term) blown out of the water. Sure, if I were to know one of the people held hostage then I would not take so kindly to the news. And I do feel for the hostages and their families. But our culture glorifies pirates. I hear the news and I immediately get a mental picture of Johnny Depp frolicking around on deck. Why can't I not think of Johnny Depp when I hear about pirates? Isn't that kind of fucked up?

Here's something else that might only bother me: (again with the colons!) I get freaked out when I'm driving and the person in front of me throws his or her cigarette butt out the window. I see the tiny red ember fall, hit the pavement, and burst into tiny sparks. And it's at that moment when my car passes right over the cigarette. I'm worried that, one day, the ember, the sparks, my car -- all if it will coalesce in a fantastic little explosion. Science people out there: Am I crazy, or is this a legitimate worry?

Finally, I'm well on my way (page 70) into Cosmos. I'm proud to report that it's much more enjoyable in my non-feverish state. I'll leave you with this quote from Isaac Newton: "I do not know what I may appear to the world; but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy, playing on the seashore, and diverting myself, in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, while the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me."