I don't have many complaints with the QWERTY keyboard. I like the layout of the letters. The numbers above the letters -- a nice touch, for sure. But just today I discovered an ATROCIOUS and DEADLY flaw that all emasculated men should be wary of. (Note: I'm not an emasculated man myself, I just happen to be on the lookout for my Walter-from-A-Raisin-in-the-Sun brethren.) If you intend to use either the exclamation point (!) or left parenthesis ((), use utmost caution! For, one key to the left of each of these are perhaps the most vile symbols on the keyboard: ~ and *. Just today, in an email, I wanted to end a sentence with an exclamation point and a begin a new one in a parenthetical aside. However, I accidentally typed a ~ and * instead, making me look like a 12-year-old girl. If not for an immediate revision, I can only imagine the fallout. My public image? Shattered. For innumerable years. (Little known fact: In 1965, JD Salinger completed a sequel to "Catcher in the Rye" entitled "Phonies! (You Phony!)," but, due to a typo, the draft he sent his editor came out as "Phonies~ *You Phony~)." And we all know what happened to Salinger after that.)

I haven't been watching much of the Olympics, but I've caught a few events: figure skating, speed skating, luge, and what's that one where the skiers go down the hill, do a flip off a ramp, land, bounce off the little mounds of snow, do another flip off a ramp, land, bounce off more of those little mounds, then finish? Also, seriously, what were the originators of these sports thinking? Figure skating: "You know, I like dance and choreography as much as the next person, but doing it on dry land and a stage? BORING! I also happen to enjoy performing these moves with extremely sharp blades that could seriously disfigure people. What am I to do?" Or: "I like sledding, but how can I do it in a homoerotic way while also risking my life on a completely iced-over track?" Or: "I like skiing down a hill, doing a flip off a ramp, landing, bouncing off little mounds of snow, doing another flip, landing, and bouncing off more little mounds. What am I going to call this? Fuck if I know."

Rocky Votolato has a new CD coming out tomorrow. I'm seeing him on Wednesday, where I'll be purchasing the new album. As a result, I felt somewhat okay in my obtaining the mp3s through dubious means. My consensus: I like the new album quite a bit. "Makers" and "Suicide Medicine" are still stronger albums, in my opinion, but "True Devotion" is growing on me. As much as I liked "The Brag and the Cuss," it never really stuck with me, outside of a few amazing tracks. But "True Devotion" feels like a strong album. It's very stripped down -- just him, his guitar, and the harmonica on maybe one or two tracks. Some of the lyrics are kind of cringe-worthy ("I want to spend more time with you / because you make me happy. / It's something I'd been so little of."), but some of them are fantastic ("The harder you fight the tide, / the less likely you'll survive." And just wait until you hear him sing those lines -- great stuff). Bottom line: check it out.