I’ve given up giving things up for Lent for Lent. And with that, the fabric of the universe was torn asunder, and your mind was BLOWN.

You may know that religion has always been something to me. First it was boring, then it was annoying, then it was the thing I hated most about the world, then it was something of a curiosity, which is about where it is right now. I often wonder why it is that God would care if you eat meat on Fridays, considering I’m pretty sure God didn’t invent Fridays and that the only reason Friday exists is because some scientists figured out how often the Earth rotates around the sun, and divided time down into years, months, weeks, and days. Equally strange is that God would care if meat and dairy get eaten together, or that cows are holy. For the record, equally strange is that God hates everyone that doesn’t believe the same thing you do, and that nobody seems to care that Jesus was a zombie for a few days.

Anyway, Lent. People give stuff up. Some people do it because God likes to see you suffer, and you don’t want to disappoint God. Other people do it as a kind of “character building” exercise, like after 40 days of not eating Taco Bell they’re going to emerge better and stronger than ever before. I tried to give up work for Lent and then shouting “Don’t persecute me!” when they told me you can’t give up work for Lent. But that didn’t work because I didn’t try it. I wonder…

Brian’s coming to visit in late March. The world’s two greatest minds together again. The men who brought you “Brian and Adam’s Crappy Home Video, Volumes 1-4” (soon to be available on betamax and laserdisc), reunited. Last time these two talents were in the same place, New York was bummed around for a few days. Comedy shows were seen, bookstores visited, drinks drinked, ferries ridden, Statue of Liberty seen. Just imagine what kind of Earth-shattering awesomeness might happen here in Denver, AKA, Colorado’s Biggest City. The big D. The mile high city. The Capital of Colorado. Revned Backwards.

Speaking of Rocky Votolato’s new album, let’s talk about preordering things. I feel like if I preorder something, I should get some kind of bonus. Either I should get the album early, or I should get something else special. Otherwise there’s no reason to preorder things. Suburban Home/Vinyl Collective always get the records to you weeks before they hit the street. I preordered Rocky V’s new album and I’ll be getting an exclusive 7”, which also happened when I preordered Chuck Ragan’s Gold Country. But some places just send you the album when it comes out, and so you end up getting it a week late, with no discount or special poster or song or anything. I think that should be illegal. I’m running for office on that platform when the midterm elections come up and the Democrats get rightly slaughtered at the polls.