Lost is going to be entering its final season in February. Hopefully Feb. 2, if Obama has the sense to not interrupt it with the State of the Union address. I like Cam’s suggestion: ABC should air the Lost premiere regardless, since the State of the Union will be broadcast on literally every other channel in TV. I have never been this excited for a premiere of any show, ever. Over the course of the last few months, I’ve re-watched the entire show on DVD, and I am prepared to say, I have never seen a show so meticulously thought out and deep on network TV, and probably never will again (especially if network TV seems to think that Flashforward will be the next Lost, but more on that in a minute). I noticed that the ratings for Lost have dipped from a peak of around 20 million viewers in the middle of season 1 to a little less than 10 million at the end of season 5, but those of us that have stuck around for the whole thing have been richly rewarded with a large cast of well-developed characters, recurring themes, science-fiction, and mystery.

Most astoundingly, mysteries that were brought up in the first season are finally being answered in believable ways at the end of the show. The Lost mythology at this point is so confusing that it’s not even worth explaining, but to say the show has transformed from a tale of survival in the first season to an epic and realistic sci-fi experience is an understatement. What other show on TV could introduce a destroyed four-toed statue in season two, not even mention it again for three full seasons, and then bring it back as one of the focal points of the entire series in the fifth? It’s things like that that make watching Lost from the beginning to the end such a fantastic experience.

That’s not to say the show hasn’t had problems. Before an end-date was set, the show meandered through seasons two and three, which were bookended with awesome episodes but stuffed with so much filler that at times it was hard to struggle through weeks of nothing happening. It was also plagued by a ridiculous airing schedule where we would have three new episodes, then not get one for two weeks, then get a new episode, wait two weeks, get five episodes, wait a month, etc, that made the slow episodes even more unbearable. The show would have an awesome episode full of mystery and intrigue, end on a cliffhanger, then the next week’s episode would totally disregard said cliffhanger and pal around with the funny fat guy for an hour, and then you’d have to wait three weeks to see cliffhanger resolved.

It’s no wonder a lot of people gave up on the show. But for me, the underlying mystery of the island and the characters I truly care about were enough to keep watching. And at this point, I’m glad I did. Seasons 4 and 5 were masterfully told, and because the end was nearing and the seasons were shortened, they were filler free. Now on the figurative eve of the final sixth season of Lost, I have no idea where the story is going, and no idea how they’re going to tie things up, but I absolutely cannot wait to find out. This will either be the single best season of television ever made, or a total flop, but based on how well these guys have done making this absurdly complex story make sense, I have faith in them.

Can we talk about Flashforward for a second? Even if that show hadn’t been billed ad-nauseum as the Next Lost, it would still be a shitty show. I watched that show for eight episodes waiting for it to suck a little bit less, and it never did. Here’s the problem: Flashforward begins with a really interesting premise in which everyone blacks out for a while and wakes up having seen the future. During that little while, cars crashed, planes crashed, etc, and a lot of people died. There was some impressive scenery in the first part of the first episode, and then… nothing. The fact that probably millions of people died is left behind, as the FBI starts trying to piece together the future when it becomes clear that everyone saw the same future. So, interesting premise, with interesting questions raised: is the future now inevitable? Does free will still exist? That kind of thing. The problem is, the FBI in this show is populated by the most narrow-minded, idiotic buffoons on the planet. They don’t ask questions that any rational person would ask because the show has decided it’s not time to reveal the answers to those questions yet.

The acting is universally embarrassing, a terrible cast led by the leader of all bad actors, Joseph Feinnes, who insists that every line be growled with an intensity that’s totally unnecessary. “Does anyone want SOME MORE PIZZA!??!!?!” you could see him asking his family, his hands clenched tight around the dinner table, supporting his body leaning over it, spit flying from his mouth, his eyes on fire with a rage that should probably be medicated. Except he wouldn’t ask his family that, because the answer to that question clearly isn’t going to be revealed until the end of the show. And because the producers don’t want you to know if the family wants more pizza yet, they just leave everyone around the table, half a pizza eaten, for six episodes. I think you get what I’m saying.

The great thing about Lost is that it rewards patience. The questions that need to be answered aren’t asked because there’s so much going on that the Losties don’t have time to be asking questions. Who gives a shit what the noise in the forest is when you’ve just been involved in a plane crash on a tropical island with polar bears on it and a strange group of indigenous hostiles are threatening you? But, as the pressing issues are resolved and explained away, eventually you learn more and more about what the noise in the forest is, to the point now where the noise in the forest is almost completely explained. In Flashforward, there is one explicit question raised at a time, which is then bullshitted around for two episodes before someone finally asks “Why is that elephant in the living room?” Then a man will climb out of the elephant and deliver a horribly acted speech about destiny.

The characters in Lost have been fleshed out by an almost inordinate amount of flashbacks to their life before. The characters on Flashforward are the dumbest people in the world. An FBI agent saw in his flashforward that a man with a gang tattoo was going to kill him, and in the present he killed a man with a gang tattoo and thought he had killed his attacker. But then later in the episode he finds out there are MORE people with the SAME tattoo! This man works for the fucking FBI! And they’re retarded as far as answering the central question, “Can you change the future?” too. Instead of blindly recreating exactly what you saw in the future, couldn’t you just make one obvious change? If you see yourself about to get killed at your job, quit your job. Right? But no one in the show thinks like that. In fact, the one likeable character on the show kills himself, WHICH DOESN’T HAPPEN IN HIS FLASHFORWARD, and it’s newsworthy. Stories show up on the news about a man who was brave enough to change the future, opening that possibility. But you’re telling me that weeks after this incident, not a single person in the world had even thought about the possibility that they could make a change that would change the future? Jesus Christ!

I know it’s TV, but please. Don’t insult your audience with this tripe, and don’t insult them even more by comparing this show in any way to Lost. When Lost ends, I don’t know what I’m going to watch for my serialized drama fix, but if Flashforward is the networks’ next attempt at it, maybe I’ll just start reading more.