I watched part of the State of the Union. Going in, I was excited about it. I knew Obama would give a hell of a speech. It was his first address -- the first one delivered by a minority. So I really wanted to enjoy the historic moment. But then it began, and I realized why I hate the State of the Union address. It's all pageantry. I guess I'm feeling particularly jaded and cynical, but I just don't feel like anything that Obama said will actually happen. Instead, the whole thing is a platform for Democrats to sound like they're going to get shit done (they won't) and Republicans to show their disdain for the Democrats' ideas. And the applause. I stopped watching after forty minutes because of the applause. Way to be both self-congratulatory (for no apparent reason [let's see some results, then you can applaud yourselves]) and pandering at the same time. Here's what I learned from the State of the Union: how to make Republicans begrudgingly applaud what you have to say. Here are some examples:

--We are going to instate mandatory abortions for all women BECAUSE AMERICA WILL BE THE BEST AT IT!
--We'll tax the shit out of businesses... BUT NOT SMALL BUSINESSES!
--We're going to punch everyone in the face BECAUSE AMERICANS ARE RESILIENT AND STRONG!
--We're replacing all jelly-filled donuts with meat-filled donuts BECAUSE IT WILL PROVIDE JOBS FOR EVERYONE!

I'm also watching Generation Kill at the moment. I think that might be fueling my contempt. (Generation Kill is written by two of The Wire's writers. The Wire is fantastically amazing. Generation Kill is pretty good, so far, but nowhere near as good as The Wire.)

People riding down escalators: we need to talk. Look, no one's perfect. I understand that. I have my own flaws. For instance, I like to walk at a brisk pace. When there are stairs available, I take the stairs. But sometimes that's just not possible. Sometimes I don't have an option and I have to take the escalator. So look. If you're going up, then kindly step to the right of the escalator, per unspoken escalator etiquette. That way I can walk up the escalators like they're stairs, which, let's not kid ourselves. They're fucking stairs. And if you're going down, then the same thing applies. But let's say that we're on one of those super-skinny escalators, the ones that are single-file only. In that instance, let's move it. You know what's easier than walking down a moving down escalator? Nothing. So walk. Now, if you have an injury or can't walk well, I understand. I'm a compassionate person. But when we get off the escalator, you've gotta give me something. A limp. Drag your leg. Hit me with your cane. But if you can walk without complication, move.

I've watched three Buster Keaton movies recently. Good stuff. The General was the first Keaton movie I ever saw, and it remains my favorite. If you have Netflix, it's on their streaming service. It's like an hour and ten minutes -- check it out. College is also fun and has a great wrap-up. Steamboat Bill, Jr. was my least favorite of the three, but still pretty entertaining. I honestly don't know how Keaton performed the things he did without killing/seriously injuring himself. It's crazy. And it's also crazy how timeless comedy is. Not only in the sense that what was funny then is funny now, but also that situations now applied back then. College, for example, is all about Buster Keaton trying to impress a girl who's going out (? -- maybe not, I don't quite remember) with a dumb jock. But the dumb jock character feels straight out of a contemporary comedy. Anyway, Buster Keaton is the man. Way cooler than Charlie Chaplin. (Though, I've only seen one Chaplin movie, so who am I to say?)