Well, let's all give Adam a big round of applause for giving this blog a complete make-over. It looks great. You could say he "Queer-eyed" it, but I wouldn't say that to his face unless you'd like a punch in the stomach. Anyway, due to the revamped look, we finally realized we had profiles that we had never filled out. So we got around to updating those. Go read them and learn lots and lots and lots of interesting stuff about us, then feel free to get in contact with us and say, "Hey, I didn't know you guys were such big losers." And if you read my profile, then you can have enlightening discussions with your friends that might go like this:

Your friend: You're the only person whose favorite book is Boogers for Dummies.
You: Hell yes, Boogers for Dummies has been incredibly helpful.
Your friend: I bet it has. I've been meaning to pick that up, I've had some questions about boogers for a while.
You: You should totally read it, then. The most influential book of my life, really.
Your friend: This conversation about the book "Boogers for Dummies" has been brought to you by [names have been omitted to protect the losers]. Constantly enlightening stupid people for 20 years. I bet this is the first time anyone's had an extended conversation about Boogers for Dummies in the history of the universe.
You: Pretty much, yeah. Don't you feel special? And all because we're talking about the national best-seller, Boogers for Dummies.

See? You could be having that kind of fun right now! Right now, I say! And when I use exclamation points, it makes it look like I'm trying to sell you something ridiculously expensive, but only sort of kind of works!

So I never took Calculus in high school, and I won't take it in college. Know why? Because I know for a fact that it will never, ever prove useful in everyday life. Simple as that. So take that, fools who took it in high school and got college credit after taking the AP exam... Wait...

School. Now there's a subject just oozing with excitement. Which is why I'm not going to talk about it here, since this post is supposed to be entertaining. Yet, I have no concept of the definition of "entertaining," so that's why my posts generally lack "interest" and "excitement."

Here's what I think. And this is just me, so feel free to disagree. The presidential election coming up in the fall is going to be one of the most important elections that our generation will probably ever have. So, to ensure that everything's fair and all, I say we re-institute a mandatory test that everyone must take to vote. Now, this isn't an intelligence test, and it's not going to prevent any sort of racial minority from voting, either. This test is basically an "are you human?" test. It'll ensure that you have at least some compassion for other human beings, that you comprehend the fact that religious doctrines and historical documents that were written centuries ago cannot still be followed out word for word, but must be amended to meet the needs of an ever changing world, and that you clearly understand that interfering with other people's lifestyle choices merely because you don't like them is wrong. So, now that all the Republicans can't vote, I think we'll be good. Now, Kerry's not going to change everything, I understand that. But at least it'll be a step in the right direction. Unlike the massive set-back known as Bush getting re-elected.

But hey, this post was supposed to be entertaining, right? That's why I'm here to say that Boogers for Dummies has easily been the most influential book of my life, really. Pick up a copy. You won't be disappointed.