There's a bit I've been meaning to do here for the past couple of weeks, but I keep forgetting when I actually get around to posting an update. So if I don't add it now, I'll probably forget for another week or two. Thus, I present to you...

If I Could Go Back and Edit Some Lyrics

(Not the catchiest title, admittedly, but it gets the point across.)

How many times has this happened to you? You're singing along to a song you have completely memorized, yet you instinctively sing a different word than the one you know is coming up. Annoying, right? Therefore, rather than just learn to sing the correct word, I think it's easier to imagine going back into the past and editing the lyrics so that they end up the way you sing them. Here are some examples of how I'd use this power:

Filmmaker's "Breathing Room"
Original line: Lipstick smiles touched to parting lips.
Brian's edit: Lipstick smiles pressed to parting lips.
Reason for the edit: Alliteration! "Pressed/parting" is better than "touched/to," right? Plus, girls (or guys!) press their lips together when applying lipstick, not touch their lips together. Duh.

The Beatles' "All You Need is Love"
Original line: Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time.
Brian's edit: Nothing you can do, but you'll learn how to be you in time.
Reason for the edit: It's a great line as is, but let's be honest: Given the right amount of time, you WILL learn how to be you. It's not really something that "can" or "cannot" happen. It will. Sorry, John.

Red House Painters' "Have You Forgotten?"
Original line: Sat back in a chair like a princess from a faraway place.
Brian's edit: Sat back in a chair like a princess from a faraway lair.
Reason for the edit: The other verses contain a nice AA, BB pattern. (Actually, there's one other instance where it doesn't maintain the rhyme scheme, but whatever.) So let's keep the rhyming alive with "chair" and "lair." Come on!

Rocky Votolato's "A Discourse on Killing"
Original line: I wanna hit somebody with a baseball bat. Break his fucking knees and take pleasure in it.
Brian's edit: I wanna hit somebody with a baseball bat. Break his fucking knees and take pleasure in that.
Reason for the edit: Again, comes down to the rhyme. Seriously? "It?" Rocky, what were you thinking? "That" is a gimme.

What about you? What lyrics would you change, given the ability to harness this amazing power?